HER CRUSH

Chapter58

Zarah.
The last thing I wanted was to be caught by Abdul. I hadn't even meant to eavesdrop; I just couldn't trust him....not after she came back into his life. First love never dies, he once said. A fact I had to accept, even if I didn't want to.

"What brings you out here at this midnight hour?" His voice cut through the silence. He was standing a few feet away, hands clasped over his chest, brows furrowed.

I froze. "I... I just needed some air." My voice came out thinner than I intended.

"At 1 a.m.?" he asked, taking a step closer, eyes narrowing as if he could read the lies on my face. "Air, or information?"

My mouth opened, but nothing came out. My mind raced for an excuse.

He tilted his head, a smile  flickering at the corner of his mouth. "You're terrible at lying, Zarah."

I swallowed, staring at him. I wanted to snap back but instead I found myself drinking in his presence.

His white shirt clung to his frame, sweat shorts hanging loosely on his hips. His dark hair was slightly tousled from sleep, and those piercing brown eyes....Arab eyes, expressive, intense... were looking at me like they could dig up my soul.

"Back on earth," he snapped, snapping his fingers, jolting me from my trance.

I blinked rapidly, embarrassed. "Who called you at this hour, Abdul?" I demanded suddenly, crossing my arms.

He frowned. "Ya Allah, babe. How many times do I have to tell you it's not safe to be out here alone?"

I stepped closer, my frustration rising. "But I'm asking you something. Who called you? Why are you avoiding my question?"

"I'm not avoiding it."

"You're always like this lately," I shot back, my voice trembling. "Secretive. Distant. I can't understand you anymore."

He took a deep breath. "What brought you out here tonight?"

I let out a humorless laugh. "Abdul, I'm asking you something and you're asking me a different question! Why are you being so evasive?"
Silence. Just his eyes on me. The night air felt thick, like it was pressing on my chest.

I reached out and cupped his face, my fingers trembling. "Abdul... what's happening? You're not the person I know. What's wrong with you?" My voice cracked. "Someone or something is dragging you away from me."

His eyes softened but he said nothing.

Tears blurred my vision. "You always prioritize her over me and our baby. You've become mean, rude, distant. Why, Abdul? Do you know how much it hurts?"

I pressed my lips together, my words pouring out like a flood. "I strive to make you happy, but you never reciprocate. Asma consumes your attention. I feel unwanted. Like my background makes me unworthy."

He flinched at the name. "Zarah..."

"No, listen to me!" My voice rose. "Do you have any idea how I feel? Left behind, ignored, unloved? I asked myself today if you still love me. The answer was devastating. You don't. Your care, your passion... it's gone."

He tried to wipe my tears but his touch felt heavy, like guilt.

"You've stopped loving me," I whispered. "All you care about now is Asma. Taking me to her place just to see her..." My voice broke. "It's unbearable."

His eyes, once full of warmth, looked distant now, guilt flickering like a shadow.

"I feel insignificant to you, Abdul. A mere afterthought." My voice cracked. "I regret showing you my love. I regret being vulnerable. I regret marrying someone who doesn't fight for me." Tears streamed down my face as I shook him lightly. "You can hurt me, Abdul, but I'll wear a smile and pretend it doesn't ache. This charade began before our marriage. You'd get angry, and I'd apologize first."

"I'm human, Abdul. I feel pain, I hurt, and I cry." I silenced him with a small shake of my head. "Don't apologize. Empty words won't fix this."

He stared at me, guilt and innocence fighting in his eyes, but stayed silent.

"Your 'I love you's are lies, Abdul. Empty words. I won't hear them anymore. You've shattered my trust."

Finally, his voice cracked. "Listen..."

I raised my hand, stopping him. "No. No more lies. Listen to what exactly, Abdul? I don't want your empty words. I regret loving you, staying in this toxic relationship. What's the point of loving someone who doesn't love you back?"

He stiffened.

My pain boiled over, and before I could stop myself I blurted, "Sometimes I think your illness has consumed you, made you unfair..."

The words hung between us like smoke. I covered my mouth, but it was too late.

Shock flickered across his face. Hurt. "Don't come near me," he said hoarsely. "Just go. Good night, Zarah."

His voice rose, trembling. "Don't come near me! I'm always trying to make you happy but you never notice. You really regret marrying someone like me, don't you? Because I'm suffering from mental illness."

His words cut like knives.

"That's not true," I whispered, my voice shaking. "I do love you, Abdul. I just... I don't know how to deal with this. With your illness. It scares me."

"You think I'm just my illness, don't you? You think I'm not capable of being a good husband." His eyes glistened. "You think I'm broken."

I stepped forward, desperate. "Abdul, no, that's not what I meant. I love you. All of you. Even the parts that scare me."

He gave a hollow little laugh. "Thank you," he muttered, but the way he said it was like a door closing.

I didn't dare move closer again.

The hallway light flickered. Sufyan appeared, rubbing his eyes. "What's going on?" His voice was groggy.

"Why are you fighting?" he asked, dragging Abdul gently inside. He turned to me, his expression stern but concerned. "Zarah, can I speak or are you angry with me too?"

I rolled my eyes, muttering, "Friend of a thief is also a thief. Speak up."

He scratched the back of his head, sighing. "I heard everything. I'm not taking sides just because Abdul's my brother. Remember, don't judge a book by its cover. Abdul's trying hard to make you happy. He's deeply in love with you." His gaze softened. "You can't just throw words at him without thinking. Sometimes, he's not himself. His mental health struggles consume him. He needs understanding, not daggers."

"Of course, you're siding with him!" I burst out. "Why don't you tell him to stop talking to that girl?"

"Who? Asma?" Sufyan's expression turned pained. "Zarah, please. I don't want this to happen again. Just try to calm down, okay?"

Abdul emerged with a car key, eyes fixed on me. He said nothing.

I turned and walked back to my room, exhausted. Everyone always sided with him. Why? I lay down on the bed and cried, feeling completely alone..

Ask your self my friend
Ehn you vex me today zarah sai na bige ki kin fadi 😒kishi ba hauka bane ba..
You deserve a hot slap 👋

I'm siding Abdul too if you like kill your self
Allah sarki hayati where did he go?oho

Yeah please and please don't forget to press the star I said please 🙏🏽

Ummeetarh05