HER CRUSH

Chapter22

Zarah...
"I quickly wipe away the tears that slip from my eyes, trying to clear my mind. I'm so lost right now, I can't even think straight. The question lingers in my mind - is Abdul using me, just like Asma's said? His family will never approve of me, and his father will never let him marry me. Am I just wasting my time waiting for Abdul to marry me?

"For once in my life, I think getting into a relationship with Abdul is a bad idea. Slowly, my mind starts to drift back to the signs I ignored. He always complimented Asma excessively, telling me they've been together for a long time. I thought he was trying to annoy me or make me jealous, but now I realize I was wrong. Maybe he has been using me, just like Asma's said.

"I'm not after Abdul's wealth; Allah knows that. Perhaps breaking up with him is the best decision I can make to protect my dignity. I don't want anyone to tarnish my family's image or mine in the public eye."

My phone shrilled, and I rejected the call, just like I have done with all his calls since yesterday. He even got Sufyan to call me, but I refused to answer. I pushed the thought away and stood up, hearing Aunty Ramla call out my name.

"Aunty, I'm here," I muttered, looking at her. She instructed, "You have a guest in the parlor, go and meet him." I knew exactly who it was - Abdul. I didn't say a word and walked back to my room, lying on my bed and wiping away my tears. God knows I love him, but I have to do this for my own good. I can't just sit back and hear insults about me and my family.

After a few minutes, Aunty burst into the room, scolding me for leaving him alone. So, I picked up my hijab and walked out. I spotted him on the couch, busy with his phone, looking handsome as always in his grey jeans and red tee, his Patek Philippe watch gleaming on his left wrist. I think he heard my footsteps, which made him look up immediately. I bowed my head down, avoiding eye contact.

I settled in, looking down at my feet, while he stared at me for a while, studying me before tearing his gaze away. After a few minutes of silence, he finally spoke up, "Zarah, are we fighting?" I was surprised he initiated the conversation.

I ignored him, looking down, fiddling with my fingers.

He called out again, "Zarah!?" I looked up, and he repeated, "Are we fighting? I told you I'm sorry yesterday, and if it's about Asma, I swear I've taken action on that. Trust me."

He started to apologize again, but I cut him off, "I don't think this relationship will work out, Abdul."

His eyes widened in surprise, "What happened? Did I do something wrong? I apologize, please, Zarah, I'm sorry."

"I just think it's better if we go our separate ways. I explained,I'm tired of this relationship; it's become a burden."

But why, Zarah? We've built a beautiful relationship; why try to ruin it now?"He protested

"Because I don't think having a relationship with someone like you is a good idea," I said, my voice laced with anger.

"Why someone like me?" he asked, hurt evident in his tone. "What did I do to you, Zarah? If I've done something unknowingly, then I'm sorry."

I raised my voice, "I just can't be in a relationship with someone who's suffering from mental illness!" I instantly regretted my words, realizing the hurt I had caused. "This isn't right, I shouldn't have said that, ya Allah. Abdul isn't okay at all; he's suffering from IED, intermittent explosive disorder, that's why his mother doesn't like him to get angry at all."

Abdul's face contorted in pain, "Enough, Zarah! You don't have to insult me. Just tell me you don't want a relationship with me, and it will be okay." His vein bulged, and I could see the hurt and frustration in his eyes.

"Thank you for letting me know," And you know what, Zarah? To hell with you!" He stormed out, slamming the door behind him.

I was left feeling guilty and regretful. "Maybe this is wrong, I shouldn't have talked about his sickness," I thought to myself. "But what can I do now? The damage is done."

**

Two months later....
"Days, weeks, and months passed by in a blur. Everything hasn't been going well since the last encounter between Abdul and me. He never tried to call me or reach out to me, not even once. He shut me down completely, locking any door that could lead to us crossing paths again."

I thought I can do just fine without him, but I was wrong. He has become a part of me, and I can't do without him. My parents, Ammi and Ya Hafiz, scolded me, but it was all in vain.

I fell ill and was hospitalized for two weeks, and my mother asked me several times what was wrong, but I kept telling her lies. I couldn't concentrate on my studies anymore; Abdul has taken my happiness with him, and I became a quiet person.

"I love Abdul so much, and there's nothing to compare with his love. My love for him is 100%, and I thought his love for me was maybe 80% before, but now I'm sure it has decreased to 20%."

"The last time Ammi scolded me, I finally told her the truth. I explained that I had a misunderstanding with Abdul. She scolded me a lot, saying that just because of a man, I have changed so much... and that if Abdul is my father or mother, I should be willing to die for him. After that day, Ammi stopped paying attention to me.

"I talked to Ama about what happened, and she told me that what I did wasn't right. She advised me to apologize to Abdul every single day, to call him and send him text messages. But everything was in vain because he wasn't reading any of my texts or picking up any of my calls. He even changed his phone number. Ama then told me to contact Sufyan."

"So, I called Sufyan... he's a nice guy, trying hard to get us back together. But he told me Abdul took our fight very seriously and isn't even listening to him. Whenever Sufyan talks to him, Abdul says he's closed my chapter completely and suggests Sufyan should date me instead, which he's okay with. I felt terrible hearing that and realized Asma had trapped me into having a fight with him, and I fell for it due to my own craziness and childishness.

"Sufyan sent me Abdul's new number and encouraged me to keep trying; maybe he'll forgive me if I'm lucky. The last message I sent him was today... 'I'm sorry, Abdul, please forgive me for what I've done, and let's start our relationship over. I love you.' And I can't believe he replied! I blinked my eyes several times, staring at the phone screen in disbelief."

"I appreciate your apology!" "I'm not quite ready to forgive you yet, but I want to. I need time to think about it and see change in your actions before I can move forward with you. I hope you'll be patient with me."

I smiled blindly at the screen, overjoyed that Abdul has finally replied to my message after a month. What can be happier than this?

My phone rang - it's Sufyan calling. I answered, and he asked if Abdul has called me. I told him no, he has only sent a text message. I am sure Sufyan has prompted him to reply to my message; he is always so sweet and helpful.

Sufyan advised me not to message or call Abdul again until he contacted me himself. He promised to make Abdul call me soon. I am thrilled and couldn't wait to share the news with Ama and Farida that Abdul has forgiven me. I kept smiling to myself as I read my book, preparing for tomorrow's test at school. I prayed that I will never see this difficult side of Abdul again.

Ummeetarh05 ❤️