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𝙺𝙰𝙼𝙰𝚁𝙸 𝙱𝙴𝙽𝙽𝙴𝚃 " 𝙸𝙲𝙴 " 𝙲𝙷𝙸𝙲𝙰𝙶𝙾 , 𝙸𝙻𝙻𝙸𝙽𝙾𝙸𝚂 𓆤
I jumped awake from my dream breathing deeply.
I sighed realized where I was and groaned putting my hands over my face.
Why do I have to be reminded of this shit everyday?
I got out of my bed, checking the time seeing it was 11:39 am. I sat on the end of my bed looking at my phone to see a couple of text from Moni.
Running my hand down my face I groaned.
I shouldn't have went over there last week, I wasn't in the right mind. I don't mean to play Moni on purpose. But she's good company.
She makes me feel less alone, and I don't understand why—but she cares about me.
Yesterday night we went to rob the strip club, which is probably why I haven't been able to sleep all night.
The gun shots, screaming, I got PTSD and I'm paranoid constantly. And me going out doing that stuff is something I have to do. It doesn't mean I want to.
But when your brother is murdered in front of you right before y'all was about to make it out. It changed me, I wanted revenge.
And when I got it, I was already in too deep. I've been in jail. Wont nobody hire me now, I cant leave—and if I did. I'd probably be killed trying to do it.
I finally got out of my bed and went into my bathroom, stripping out of my clothes before stepping into the steaming water wishing it would consume my body.
Dee was the only person I had—truly. Our parents were killed in a home invasion. And our granny passed soon after they did.
Dee had to step up and take care of me, I owe him my entire life. I wonder what would of happened if he didn't pick me up from school that day.
If instead I went to hang out with my friends like he wanted me to.
I felt a lone tear slip from my eye.
After another hour in the shower I finally got out looking at the tattoos that painted my body.
I had butterflies—my favorite—everywhere.
A cross in the middle of my chest, tattoos on my back, arms. But the one on my wrist was the most meaningful one.
It was my first tattoo, I went to get it with Dee. I got his birthday and he got mine.
