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𝙺𝙰𝙼𝙰𝚁𝙸 𝙱𝙴𝙽𝙽𝙴𝚃 " 𝙸𝙲𝙴 " 𝙲𝙷𝙸𝙲𝙰𝙶𝙾 , 𝙸𝙻𝙻𝙸𝙽𝙾𝙸𝚂 𓆤
I walked through the cemetery carrying 2 big bouquets of flowers, the one in my right hand consisted of blue and white while the other one consisted of pink and red.
First I stopped at my mother and father's grave, placing half the pink on my mom's and the red on my father's gravestone. Most of the time when I came to visit them and my brother I didn't say anything to them but I loved them.
Because deep down I knew they weren't proud of the lifestyle I'm living. But today I sat down and told them about the good things in my life right now. And how I'm progressing.
After a little while, I got up and walked over to my brother's grave with a slight smile on my face.
"Yea I'm wearing a hat today," I said placing the flowers on his grave and taking a seat on the bench.
"I think you'd be proud of me right now big bro. I'm not doing drugs anymore, I have a girlfriend that I told I loved the other night." I told him.
I hadn't come to see him in a couple of weeks, some call people like me crazy for talking to a gravestone. But it feels like he's sitting right in front of me listening to every word I'm saying. Laughing along with me, and although he isn't it feels nice to be here.
"I'd never think I'd see the day. Maybe I'll bring her up here one day but I don't know. I miss you though. Mad as fuck that you're not here coaching me on what to and what not to do." I laughed a little.
"Your birthday is coming up tho, I can't believe you would have been 23 tho. I'm not ready, it seems like just yesterday you were walking me to school telling me to stop dressing like you." Taking a deep breath I slowly let it out. "I miss you, Dee."
Standing up I dusted my pants off. "I don't know if I'm gonna come up here for your birthday but if I don't I love you." I walked off towards my car.
Once I was inside I turned my music on and started it up. I didn't want to allow myself to get sad because as soon as I started to get something in my mind I wouldn't be able to get it out.
꧁꧂
"What's wrong babe? You've been here for an hour and barely said a word. You don't want to get the tattoo no more?" Kayla asked me as I laid back on her bed with my hands over my eyes.
"I'm alright. And yea I still wanna get the tattoo with you I just don't wanna look at the drawings right now." I told her.
Hearing her close the book I felt her body on mine and her moving my hands off my face.
"What's wrong Kamari?" She asked again and I just sighed.
"I miss my fucking family bro," I said. "My brother's birthday is next Friday and I don't know. I don't want to feel all that right now." I told her.
"Grieving is normal. It's okay to miss them but you can't just think about the fact that they're gone. Think about all the good times. The laughter and hugs."
"It's alright. Here get your book back out we can pick right now." I told her sitting up watching as she opened her sketchbook back up.
"You wanna get angel numbers?" She asked me.
I sat next to her on her bed with my arms wrapped around her waist and my head in the crook of her neck.
"What they mean?" I looked at some of the ones she drew with different designs.
"I keep seeing 6 everywhere. That number signifies love and intimacy with your partner." She explained to me.
"If you get 6 what am I supposed to get?" I mumbled.
"You can get 9, it's also a love number. Like I can get a six with a heart then nine. And you can get nine with a heart then six." She explained.
"That's actually pretty cool. Can the hearts be in red ink and the numbers in black?" I asked her and she nodded.
"You pick where I get mine and I'll pick for you." She told me.
"I want you to get yours on that little area above your hip bone," I told her before lifting up and her shirt and showing her the spot.
"Okay, I want you to get yours right here." She grazed her thumb under my ear.
"Bet you gone do mine?"
"Of course, someone else gone have to mine tho. I have a friend who I trust to do it." She told me.
"Let's get them done on Thursday," I suggested.
"Actually we have something to do on Thursday." She said and I scrunched up my eyebrows.
"We do? I ain't know that. Before you say anything I did kinda know I just forgot it was this week." I spoke quickly and she began laughing.
"I didn't tell you about this, uh my mom wants to meet you." She said.
"Your mom?" I rubbed the side of my face.
I've never met anyone's mom before. Well--once but Moni's mom met me by accident when we were in high school.
"You been telling your mom about me?" I asked with a smirk on my face and she rolled her eyes playfully.
"Maybe." She laughed. "She's a little judgemental, but you're a good person and if you're going to be in my life she wants to meet you." She explained.
"Alright. I gotta wear a dress or sum shit like that? Because I don't fuck with dresses. We having dinner or what?" I wondered.
"Yea dinner at her house at 7. You can drive us there." She smiled.
"Damn you excited I'm meeting your mom and shit. And we getting matching tattoos all in one week."
"I can't wait!" She said.
꧁꧂
it's mad late, and im finna go to sleep. this was a little bit short i hope yall enjoyed it.
