CROWN PRINCE | LES MISÉRABLES

79.

April 1839

Spring had just started to spread throughout Paris. My husband's grave started to grow grass and I was happy. My baby would soon be in my arms, Combeferre said it might be September.

I was ordered to the King. I had no idea what he could want. He got rid of his son and I was no longer interested in him. I entered the place as I lived here for years. Well, probably because I spend a lot of time here already.

The King and I entered at the same time. I quickly bowed.

"Madame."
"Your majesty."
"You seem to be pregnant."
"Does it look like it? Well, maybe that's because I am.", I said.

"Who's the father?"
"My husband."
"You don't have a husband."
"Yes, I do. Just because he's not breathing anymore, it does not mean that he doesn't exist anymore. He does. And in my heart, he lives.", I yelled.

I had to calm myself down. My baby wouldn't thank me if I just kept getting angry.

"Your son is now the Crown Prince."
"No, he's not. Your son is."
"My son is dead."
"Your son. You cannot even say his name out loud. You mistreated him, you caused him to think about his death. I am sure, you're somewhat involved in his death.", I said.

"It was a suicide."
"It was not. He was shot by a general. He believed that your son was trying to overthrow you."
"Then it's probably for the best."

"For the best? He killed your son. He never wanted to overthrow you. He wanted to settle down with us. We planned to move out of France, far away from this place. He was happily married and had a little boy he adored more than anything. I will not get started on the baby that he was so excited about. This man, he wanted nothing to do with you.", I said.

"Madame, I ask for your understanding."
"But you will not have it. I stand by my husband, even in death I stand by his side and you will not dare to say something like that about him.", I said, hoping he had finally understood.

But that was not enough. The King began to cry, whimper even.

"God, I miss my son."
"Why did you mistreat him then?"
"I had to make a man out of him. A ruler. A future King even."

"He was a man. A good one. And an excellent father.", I said.
"If I had the chance to hold him in my arms just one more time, I would. And I would tell him how much I love him.", he cried.

"Please now go, Madame. I must return to my duties.", he
added, leaving me all by myself to think.

Did I feel bad for him? Yes. I mean, he lost his son. His own son flesh and blood. He had many chances and he never took one. Now, he cannot turn back time. As you grow older, you seem to appreciate things more than you used to.

I always thought that a man would choose his lady and not the other way around. I have learned to live my life as it would be my last day on earth. Bastien showed me, that every day could be my last. He just went to get some coffee — and was shot right before entering the Café.

The blood on the pavement, no one could clean it up. It was royal blood. Who would've imagined that the Crown Prince would die in front of his favorite coffee shop? No one did. And neither did Bastien.

You know, I had a weird feeling all day. Something didn't feel right. I once even had pain in the exact spot that Bastien was shot in. If it was the same moment, I cannot tell. Maybe we had such a deep connection, that I'd feel his pain.

Maybe we were just inseparable. Some children of a barricade, that wanted to climb into a new future. We've lost many, but did we lose ourselves on our way up?

Maybe it was supposed to go like this. Maybe my life would end soon. Maybe something bad happens to any of us. I couldn't think of anything or anyone else on my way home, besides Bastien.