CROWN PRINCE | LES MISÉRABLES

87.

December 1839

I took Timothy ice skating for the first time. The pond at my childhood home had frozen completely so I thought it was safe to teach him there. I originally wanted to take him to the lake in the Netherlands but he had to be able to skate away from the people. And he could not stand on the ice.

"Mama, I am afraid I might fall and hurt myself."
"Do not worry. Everything will be alright. I will be there to catch you.", I assured him.

I tied his ice skating shoes to his shoes before doing the same to me. I stepped on the ice. I was thankful and a bit less worried, knowing that Combeferre was just a scream away in case something happened. Even Raphael decided to join the happy occasion.

"Come on, here take my hands.", I said, stretching my hands out to him.

A bit scared and hesitant, he took it and slowly stepped on the ice. I mimicked his steps and slowly glid backward.

"Mama, I am scared."
"There is no need to be scared. I am here. I will protect you. Do you trust me?"

He looked at me for a second and then a huge smile crept on his face, nodding.

***

He finally learned to ice skate. I was full of pride, and he looked very confident on the ice. I spied Delilah on the balcony with a crying Eliza in her arms.

"Timothy, I will be right back.", I said, as I walked back to the house.

But I did not even make it inside, as I heard a splash, followed by a shriek. I turned around and saw Timothy in the freezing water. Delilah yelled for Combeferre as I ran towards the pond. I tried pulling him out of the water but the cold water made it hard to find a grip. I jumped inside to get him out of the cold water.

I pushed him out of the water with all my strength before going down once again.

Combeferre and Raphael had immediately wrapped him up in a warm blanket. Raphael and Combeferre both then tried pulling me out. After almost pulling both men in, they managed to pull me out.

I gasped for air as my lungs had begun to fill with the dirty water from the pond. I coughed up the water.

"Are you insane?", Combeferre yelled at me.
"You could've drowned."
"My son could've drowned. I'd rather have him live than me.", I said, still coughing.

"Let's get you both inside.", Delilah declared.

We walked inside and sat in front of the chimney. We had some spare clothes for Timothy but I did not fit into my old dresses as I had gained weight in both my pregnancies.

"You need to change out of your clothes.", Combeferre said in a harsh tone.
"You need a better attitude.", I whispered.
"Pardon me?"
"You're pardoned.", I said.

Delilah helped me change out of my wet clothes into one of her robes. It was a thick, fuzzy robe that immediately warmed me up. I took Eliza and made her stop crying.

"Are you alright?"
"Yes mama, are you?", he asked, bashful.

He felt embarrassed. It was not his fault at all. It was mine. I am thankful that it happened when I was still outside. I almost killed my own child. I was a terrible mother and today proved my point even more.

"Do you want something warm to drink?", my grandmother asked.
"Can I have a hot chocolate?", Timothy asked.
"Of course big boy. Annelise?"
"No, thank you.", I said.

Before she left I turned to her and told her to put a few marshmallows into his hot chocolate.

After a few minutes, he got his hot chocolate. He had a surprised expression when he saw all the marshmallows. After a while, he fell asleep. I hope he didn't catch pneumonia. I had to make sure that he would relax the next weeks.

I had to do it for him.