CROWN PRINCE | LES MISÉRABLES

18.

[eighteen thirty]

I was in love. I knew I shouldn't but who could blame me? She was the prettiest girl I've ever laid eyes on. Her black hair looked beautiful against my cream-colored pillows. Her skin was as soft as the finest silk. This beautiful girl needed her beauty sleep. I got out of bed and looked at her.

I wished that I was a commoner, so I could marry her. But I knew, that was never going to happen. I needed to annul my current marriage to Princess Maria. She did not mean anything to me but Annelise, she was something special.

Watching her, made me fall in love with her even more. I couldn't help it. Her love made me feel alive, something I haven't felt since my mother was divorced and thrown out of the palace.

I made my decision. I was going to talk to my father about annulling my marriage. I got out of bed and wrote a small note for her when she woke up. This was urgent.

I slowly walked out of the house and got on my horse. Paris was only 30 minutes away. And with a horse, I could probably do it in 15.

The doors very opened for my arrival and the doors opened. I got off my horse and walked inside the palace.

I opened the double doors and told my guard to not let anyone on. The staircase I was walking up, felt a lot longer than usual. I stood in front of my father's office but didn't dare to knock.

I knocked and entered.

"My son, what a surprise. What can I do for you?"
"I need to talk to you about something important. I want to annul my marriage to Princess Maria.", I said.
"What? Why? I think you have a perfect match."
"I don't think so. My eyes set on someone I love."
"Is she royal?"
"No."
"Then I won't allow you to annul your marriage. You know very well that this is a political thing."

"I cannot give the love that I don't have for her. It wouldn't be fair."
"I said no."
"And what if I do marry her? Without your consent."
"If you really love that person, then you wouldn't want them to get harmed, would you? As long as you live under my roof, you will not annul your marriage. Is that clear?", he asked more sternly.

I nodded.

"Good. Now go back to your wife. I want some grandchildren before I die.", he said leaving.

"As you please.", I whispered.

I have not been completely honest with Annelise. I felt like suffocating in this palace. Occasionally, I would need alcohol to fall asleep. I was not an alcoholic though.

I felt empty. But when I was with Annelise, my world became colorful and I began to saw the true beauty of life. Without her, my life was dark and different shades of gray.

Without her, my world would collapse. Her smile gave me life and happiness. And love. Lots of love. A love that is so strong, to cure thousands of sick people, to end wars between kingdoms, and give thousands of women a chance to support their child.

I sat on the floor. I realized: Annelise was the missing puzzle piece in my life.

"A certain time for us, when the night envelops us. A certain time where we owe the world nothing!", I remembered, breaking out in tears. 

"For isn't there a star, I can simply fly to? The chains of my class removed, a whole life with you!", I whispered.

I had a small booklet, where I wrote down all my thoughts and worries. I even wrote simple song lines in it, hoping that one day, people would finally understand how I feel.

"Show me a kingdom, where princes are no slaves, where love is boundless and where I can exist, just like any other man!", I finished.

I got up from where I was sitting. I ran a hand through my messy curls, trying to make sense of my life. I wrote thousands of pages and they never made sense and never gave me the answer to my why.

"For isn't this just a dark dream, full of anxiety and agitation? Or is our destiny just striking mercilessly?! I'm standing here at a loss and play along with the Game of Reality. I show a smile to the entire world although inwardly I cry.", I whispered.

"My life here as a prince is just agony to me, I'd give it up if only I were free.", I breathed.

I grabbed my booklet and ran out of the door, slamming the door behind me shut. I fled the palace, riding back to the only one I truly loved and saw more than just a prince in me.

Not even 20 minutes later, I reached my small house. I hid my horse and stepped inside.

"Oh, there you are. I missed you.", she said.
"I'm sorry. It was urgent."
"Are you alright? You were crying, weren't you?", she asked.

I suppressed my tears. I couldn't be weak in front of her.

"No, what makes you think that?"
"Your eyes gave it away."

Then I broke down. She rushed to my side, cradled me, and stroked my hair. I told her everything. I told her how I hated to be the prince and how much I wanted to be like any other man.

"You will probably think I am weak now."
"No. I do not. You have bottled this up for long enough. I am here to share your burden.", she said.

This made me fall in love with her even more.