Blaze

Training

I can't do anything. I can't move. I can't breathe. It's Darius. Darius, my friend. Darius who used to tease Katniss and joke around with Gale. Darius who would lightly tug on my braid to get my attention. Darius who could make anyone laugh. Darius who was a Peacekeeper. Darius.

"Catora." Peeta whispers, stepping closer to me. Darius is staring at me and I'm staring at him. Neither of us say a word. Then to my horror I remember that he can't speak. The red headed Avox girl from the woods is standing right behind him looking sullen like she knows I know him too.

Then Peeta is pulling me away and locking the door to my bedroom behind us. I throw myself at the door. "No Peeta!" I shout at him. "That's Darius! Darius! He tried to save Gale. I've known him for years. I have to tell him I'm sorry! I have to apologize it's.. It's.." I'm trying to push him, hit him out of my way but he's unmoving. He's solid. As always.

"Everything you're going to say, he already knows." I stare up at him wide eyed. How can he be so calm? He's from home. Darius is a piece of home. Then I'm crying, causing my makeup to run. I don't look at Peeta as I throw myself into the bathroom and lock the door. He's trying to get me to open the door, but I run the water form the faucet to drown out his words while I cry. There's nothing he could say that would help.

Peeta is gone when I open the bathroom door. He probably thought it was best to leave me alone. I close the bathroom door again and wash the rest of my makeup off my face. I look tired and sad when I'm through. Then I lock my bedroom door again and change into a simple pants and shirt, throwing my flickering dress onto the bed.

When I exit my bedroom, I don't look for Haymitch or Effie but walk straight to Peeta's room. The door is open, like I was expected. He's standing by the window, leaning one arm up against it as he looks down at all the people. Up here, we're giants and they're the ants under our feet instead of the other way around. I bump his dresser on accident on my way in. Peeta looks up at me. He hasn't changed out of his chariot outfit yet so I can still see all the muscles of his arms.

"Come here." He says softly turning around and opening his arms. I walk toward him gratefully and hug him as his arms wrap around me. "Are you okay?" He murmurs, kissing my hair.

"No."

"That's fine." He says rubbing my shoulders and taking a step away from me.

"Shouldn't you change?" I ask rubbing the fabric of his shirt between my fingers. He shrugs and easily unbuttons the cape around his neck and tosses it aside. He walks past me and closes the door as he begins to take off his shirt. "Peeta." I exclaim, blushing as he moves to remove his pants.

"What? It's not like I'm not wearing anything underneath these things." He says, clearly trying not to laugh at me. "Besides you've seen me naked."

"Stop it." I scold him, opening my eyes as I watch him put on a shirt. Peeta grins.

"See, innocent." I blush harder.

Dinner is more or less pleasant. Portia, Cinna, Effie and Haymitch keep up the conversation. Peeta holds my hand under the table as Darius and the girl serve us food. I try not to look at them straight away. I already feel guilty eating this in front of them.

Portia and Cinna stay to watch the ceremonies but leave after they're over. We thank and praise them for their work on our outfits and see them off to the elevator. Effie tells us to go to sleep straight away so we can get up early for training strategies. Peeta and I share a look before heading off to our separate rooms. He'll walk over to my room when Haymitch and Effie are settled in for the night.

Not twenty minutes later I hear my bedroom door creak open and see a dark form move across the room. I sit up in bed and slide over so Peeta can sleep on my right side. He climbs into bed next to me and I'm grateful for our arrangement. He helps me sleep at night and I don't want any nightmares to worm their way into my brain today. As soon as his arm is around my waist, I'm asleep.