Blaze

Before We Go

The day before the reaping I find myself sitting alone in my house playing the piano. With all the training and stress and worry with the games I hadn't had much time to play it and I was actually a bit rusty. Once I picked up a rhythm though I flowed from song to song, hardly stopping. It was the creak of floorboards behind me that scared me.

Like Haymitch, I had gotten used to carrying around a knife, and I had one on my piano at that moment. I jumped up, grabbed it quickly and turned swiftly, ready to throw. Peeta threw up his hands defensively. "Hey, whoa. I'm sorry." He said quickly. I relaxed a bit as I stared at him. It was Peeta, just Peeta.

Except it sort of wasn't just Peeta anymore. Lately, Peeta and I have been strictly business. I can't remember the last time I kissed him or slept in the same bed as him. It hasn't felt the same since the announcement. I think I'm trying to distance myself from him and he's letting me.

"Sorry." I say blushing deeply and placing down the knife. Peeta's arms fall to his sides.

"You still play beautifully." He says walking towards me. I shrug, not knowing how to respond. Peeta purses his lips as he stands in front of me. He looks like he wants to ask me something but doesn't know how. "Do you.. Do you want to do something with me?" He asks softly. I glance up at him confused.

"What do you mean?" Peeta bites down on his bottom lip.

"Do you want to get married?" I don't know why the question startles me. Maybe it's because he's asked before. Maybe it's because we can't get married now. Maybe it's because some part of me thinks it's pointless.

"What?" I question a bit breathlessly, incase I heard wrong.

"Do you want to marry me? Right now?" I begin to wonder if you can live while your heart has stopped beating. I mean, the blood is still flowing right? How many seconds did I have before I collapsed?

"Right now." I repeated. Peeta nodded.

"The bread ceremony." Oh, that's what he means.

"Peeta that's not really a marriage." I begin to argue with him. Being married is dressing up, going to the Justice Building. It's having it filmed on camera with hundreds of people watching. It's the beautiful dress and flowers. It's a piece of paper.

"It can be." Peeta pauses. "I want it to be." He corrects. I look at him finally and I can see it in his eyes. He needs this and with startling realization, I know that I need this too. One last happy moment.

"Okay."

The bread ceremony is quick. We have to look up, in an old dusty book, the correct words to say before linking arms, drinking some wine and eating bread but Peeta and I laugh our way through it stumbling over the words and spilling our drinks.

"You've linked our arms wrong." I protest at one point.

"What do you mean wrong? There's no picture in the book? How could you know if it's wrong?" He demanded defiantly. I laughed at that because I didn't know. I've never seen a bread ceremony.

When we finish, Peeta and I drink the rest of the wine and talk about better times. About things we did when we were younger, recalling our moments together after the games. We talk about our parents and friends, our District. He expresses to me his biggest dream to see what's beyond Panem, beyond the District's and I express mine.

"You were always my biggest dream Peeta." I whisper softly. Peeta stopped smiling and looked over at me. It might have been the wine, or the look in his eyes but I couldn't help myself, I kissed him.

I shouldn't have thought it was a bad idea, it's Peeta. I've kissed him before and he's kissed me but its been so long I think I almost forgot about the way his lips perfectly matched mine and how soft his cheeks were despite the bone structure in his jaw.