The Stranger in my room

Chapter 33

_________
JENNIE
_________

I was totally startled as I enter my room.
My whole room was clean and tidy like it was never touched, this was not the condition of my room when I left it .
Suddenly my eyes fell on a sleeping figure on my bed.

Ray!!!

He was sleeping on my bed.
I was utterly appalled .

What is he doing here?
What is wrong with him?
Why was he sleeping here?

I dropped my suitcase on the floor and looked at him amazed . He was sleeping peacefully like a child. He had a pillow wrapped between his hands. This is the first time I am watching him in his sleep. There were some dark shades on the skin below his eyes , which weren't there before. It seems as if he had not slept properly from some days.
But why?
His curly hairs were messily hung over his forehead.
A sudden urge of touching that strand of his hairs arose in me but I ceased my emotions inside my heart.

He can't be here after what he did to me?

His face was pale .
My eyes fell on his parted lips , which looked somewhat dry.
An impious thought hit my mind, but I kicked it away just as it came.

No!!!
I can't do that.

He shouldn't be here .
He can't be here.
And I can't let him take control on me.
My conscience reminded me.

Just as I was about to move away from him , I heard a whimpering sound. I turned and looked at him. The peacefulness on his face was now changing to fear and discomfort. His body was shaking. It felt like he was in pain. His closed eyes squeezed together. His lips parted and he let out a whining sigh.

What is happening to him?
Maybe he is having a bad dream.

My reflex action was to sit next to him and hold his hand.
Suddenly he murmured something in his sleep ,"Don't l-leave me Jenn , please..doo...nnn.... I c-can't l-live without y-you."
And then he held my hand tightly .
I caressed his forehead and whispered,"I am here. Just sleep. I am here."
Just then I sensed his breathe calming. I kept stroking my hands on his head. He again slept peacefully.

I wasn't melting , I did this just for the sake of humanity.
Seeing a person suffering in front of me will be against humanity,  isn't it ?

Right now I felt like I am seeing a lost and emotionally bruised person, who need someone to cure him. Who uneventfuly try to shield his fragile emotions under a perforated shield which couldn't hide his emotions perfectly. It just gave him an escape from reality. But he was internally bruised.
And if you would ask me then I was actually ready to heel him. I was ready to be his saviour but he won't let me. He would never let me break that useless shield and help him, this is the thing that I have understood till now.

Right now he is sleeping like child beside me, holding my hand tightly as if I would disappear from here but he will never accept it when he will meet me as Ryan.

He would never accept that he cares for me in public. He didn't even told Aiden and James that he used to meet me every night.

Why? Why does he do so?
Why does he hurt me everytime when I start to rely him?
Why can't he behave as one person?
Why does he behave as different persons at different time?

It seems as though there are two different person.
When I meet him at my home then he seems like a caring person, he seems my Ray but when I meet him in college or at other places he seems so rude, he seems as Ryan who is heartless.
Why does he behaves as two different persons at different time?