The Stranger in my room

Chapter 66

Six months later...

_________
ALEX
_________

It has been six fucking months and no progress in Ryan's and Jennie's condition.
Jennie's mother comes to visit her every weekend. She couldn't stay here because of her job but she comes every weekend and she is still so optimistic that Jennie will get better soon.

She also asked us about Ryan when she got to know that some other friend of ours is also suffering the same as Jennie. But we didn't tell her the whole truth that Ryan was her boyfriend. She hadn't even seen Ryan till now.
Ryan and Jennie are kept in different rooms.

Our lives have been wrecked after this incident. I feel desolated. Aiden stopped talking much. He usually stays in Ryan's room to monitor if he does any moment. His attendance in college has also decreased. James also stays so quiet. We live like strangers, barely talk to each other. It feels like the spring of life has been replaced by never-ending autumn now and everything seems to be shedding. Our strengths, our motivation, our happiness, our peace everything. Everything had lost its way to us.
We are merely emotionless machines.

Ryan's father also proposed to come here after a week of his coma, but somehow I asked my father and managed to get him busy with his company work so that he can't come here. And so did happen, he forgets all about his son.
Actually, he was this selfish from the start. He cared about nothing but his money and status.
If he would have known about Ryan's condition then he might have created so much of a scene.

It was Sunday today so no college. I was sitting in Jennie's room, talking to her unconscious body like a maniac. This is what I like to do more often. I just spent hours in her room talking to her, telling her how pathetic I feel about myself that I let her go alone that day, only if I had dropped her home safely then I might be talking to her in her consciousness. Everyone would regard me as a lunatic but this is the only way by which I can feel a little less lonely.

Nowadays these breaths also feel so burdensome on my soul. I feel so heavy to live. It feels like I am unnecessarily dragging this life forward and trying to crawl by my bruised knees. Everything around me seems useless.
Most of the time one question keep roaming in my mind that why the fuck am I living this life.
What is the meaning of my existence now?
But I couldn't get answers to these questions and it keeps straddling me in a neverending loop.

I was lost in my thoughts when suddenly I heard a sound from the ECG machine, I started having fluctuations. It was the first time in 6 months that she gave a response.

I quickly dialled the doctor's phone and tell him to come as soon as possible.
Meanwhile, the nurses were checking her.

Within 10 minutes the doctor came and starting checking her.
I waited outside with Aiden and James.
We all stood there worried for 20 minutes when finally the doctor came out and said, "Her situation is deteriorating now. She had not shown any progress for 6 months. And with this decreasing condition, she can't make it more."

His words were like a sword bruising my whole body slowly.
I was dumbfounded.
I couldn't speak anything.

Then James asked, "Isn't there anything that you can do?"

He replied, "Actually there is one way. We can try giving her shock treatment. But the possibility of this treatment getting successful is only 30 per cent. Now it is up to you to decide."

Now, this was the time for me to choose her death. I could let her die like she is doing now or I can agree to that doctor so that she would die sooner than later. There will only be a 30 per cent chance of her survival which is very less.

Will I lose my Jennie now?

Suddenly Aiden said from beside me, "We are ready for this treatment."
Our heads moved towards him in confusion.

How can he take this decision on his alone?

He continued, "And I want you to do the same treatment with Ryan too. This has been so long and now I can't bear both of them suffering like this. Either they will get better or end this forever. "

The doctor looked at me for my approval, I nodded. Then the doctor said, "I need to do arrangements for this. We will do this treatment day after tomorrow. "
Then he left.

Whatever Aiden said was probably right. They both are suffering like this. Either they should get better or end this.
I know that Aiden has had to collect all of his strength to go to this decision. He would be internally so grieved but he still trying to show us that he is good.

He was about to go back to Ryan's room when I held his hand.
He looked at me perplexed, but before he could ask I hugged him.
Maybe this is the only support I can give him right now.

I gave him a brotherly hug to which he reacted after a pause, by hugging me back.
I said, "Don't worry everything will be fine."

This was the longest that we have talked to each other or stayed in each other's vicinity.
We have been very distant after all this.

Suddenly I heard deep sobs. He was crying.
I gave him his time to let out his emotions which he was hiding from this whole world. I patted his back.
He cried her heart out which made my emotions run out of their cage.
He said through his sobs, "I d-don't w-what will h-happen n-now. I-I am s-so s-scared."
This was so an emotional moment for us.
Maybe at this moment, we were mentally preparing ourselves for the worst situation waiting to come in our life.

I tried to calm him down by my words which seemed a lie to myself too, "They will get better after this treatment. Trust me."

He pulled himself away from me, swept his tears and stared at my face, "Are you trying to convince me or yourself by these lies."

He was indeed right.
W

ho was I trying to convince with these lies when we both deep down know that there are very few chances of them getting better.
My one mistake turned to this.
If I would have known that this would happen because of that small mistake then I would have never let her go alone.
Only if I would have known that that was our last goodbye, that was the last time she was talking to me.
I can't hear her voice ever again now.
I only have those memories with me now and I have lived my life with those memories only.

You never know which goodbye can turn into the last goodbye, and you won't be able to talk to that person ever after.
And this regret can weigh so much in your heart that would lead you to a stage of self-doubt from which it is very difficult to escape. It makes you feel dead in your living stage.
And I feel the same.

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