The Stranger in my room

Chapter 56

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JENNIE
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Soon Alex pulled the engine off outside Ryan's apartment.
I quickly climbed off the car and rung the bell.
James opened the door within 2 seconds .
Without saying or asking anything I scurried off to Ryan's room.

I impatiently opened the door of his room and found him laying on his bed in deep sleep.
I moved closer to him and sat at the near him.
I stared at his face and saw a kind of discomfort. His forehead crunched like he was suffering in his sleep too.

An unexpected tear rolled down my eyes. I want him to live happily like a normal person. I can't see him suffer like this. My heart hurts while seeing him in such state.

Suddenly a felt a hand on my shoulder , I looked up, Aiden said , "Don't worry he is fine now."

I nodded and we came out of his room letting him to rest.

We all sat in the hall .

Alex asked ,"Do you guys have any idea why did he got this panic attack?"

Aiden replied, "I saw his phone laying on the floor and maybe he got panicked attack by seeing his and Jennie's picture in Jennie's contact in his phone, which was saved as "My Love".

Alex said,"Oh!! I never knew it can trigger him like this. I thought this will help him gaining his memory. This is all my fault."

I said putting my hand on his shoulder,"Don't blame yourself. You were just trying to help him out."

He just nodded.

Aiden said, "I've called Dr. William. We'll discuss all this with him and will do whatever he says because whatever we are doing doesn't seem to help."

We all nodded.

He continued, "He will be here in half an hour."

We all kept sitting there in silence.
We just have one thought ringing in our mind, that what should we do to pull Ryan out of this chaos.

I thought that finally he is moving forward and his condition is getting better, but now all the progress we made seems to go back to zero. Nothing we are doing helping him. We were just able to make him jealous of Alex and my relationship but he didn't show much of a progress to that. He didn't try to express his feelings.

I don't know what to do.
How to make him live a normal life?
How to make him remember me?

I feel like being lost in mist and just wandering here and there clueless trying to find a way to reach to him. But all my futile efforts go to vain. He is closer to me but far away from my reach.
He is mine but not mine.
I am his but not his. There is thick , non-permeable wall between us, which is keeping us apart and each of my efforts to break through this wall are a waste. I feel my strength weakening with every effort I make. I keep failing. I try to stay strong, for him, for me, for us. But when you try multiple times and get nothing but failure then for once , just for a second , your heart also feels like giving up. When you can't see a light through darkness than the hope seems to die too. When you keep struggling for life in this deep ocean but all your attempts aren't enough then you just drown more deeper into the ocean.

But I don't want to give up.
I don't want to give up on us.
Because giving up on us means giving up on life. He is my life.
I know it has been just a couple of months that we have met but he made me feel such love and care that I've never felt in my whole life. I feel a bizzare connection with him.
You know the kind of the calmness that your soul craves for and search everywhere ,
I feel that calmness with him.
I feel my heart at ease when I am with him.
And giving up on him means letting this calmness go. Making my heart sunk again into that loneliness from which he pulled me out.
We both are not perfect but we are perfectly imperfect together.