The Stranger in my room

Chapter 65

_________
ALEX
_________

There come some moments in life when you totally lose faith in god. When you feel nothing but hatred towards God and the whole world.
When you start questioning about the bad things happening to you.
When this world seems like fading away and you feel like either end this suffering or end yourself.
When everyone around you always gives you nothing but distress.
When you feel like bankrupt and had nothing left in your life like every precious thing are stolen from you.
I am feeling the same.
This is that moment for me.
Saying that I was deeply grieved and feeling so useless in my life will be an understatement.
This void which is being created inside my heart due to Jennie physical and mental health got worsened by hearing Ryan's condition.
It is like god is hammering on the same spot repeatedly where I am already bruised.
This another bad news on the same day broke all my strength into pieces. I felt hollow like my all feelings got disappeared. I don't know what to feel, what to say, how to behave.

They both just gave up and gone to coma, leaving us here to grieve and to sunk in regret.
And this agony will eat me up now.
They both just left us like this to suffer.
How could they do this to us?
Don't we matter for them?
Didn't they know how deeply hurt we could get because of this?

But there is no one to answer these questions now, neither Ryan nor Jennie. I feel like a handicapped person, so helpless.
Even handicapped people are stronger than me. I feel like trash. Nothing just useless trash.
I couldn't save Jennie, I couldn't save Ryan, I failed. I am so pathetic. So pathetic.

Suddenly I felt a tap on my shoulder. I looked up and saw the doctor there. Apparently, it was the next morning. Aiden told me about Ryan last night and it hit me like a thunderstorm, I couldn't sleep all night. I also send James with Aiden because would be needing someone's support. He would be feeling so tormented.

I adjusted my shirt and stood up. The doctor said, "Umm... We are going to shift the patient to the normal ward, she needs to be under surveillance of a doctor or nurse all the time."

I thought for a minute then replied, "Can't this all be arranged at home?"

He said after a pause, "Yes it can. But would be expensive as we need to have the machines and assign at least two nurses."

I said, "Yes, yes. That is perfectly okay. When can she be shifted at home? "

He replied, "By the evening."

I nodded and he left.

We have to take them home, but now the question is to whose home. We can't leave Jennie alone in her apartment.
Well, I can take her to mine.

I took out my phone and dialled James's number.

"Hello James, how is Aiden now?"

"Alex, he is so much shocked by this news. He hadn't slept the whole night and kept crying. This all is too much to handle. I don't know why God did this to us."

I could hear his voice cracking at last.
Indeed it is an unbearable situation for us which is very hard to cope up with. But at least we have the slightest possibility that they might get better someday.
Maybe god will do some miracle and the way our life get destroyed it would get better the same way.
I am not saying that I am over this situation and it doesn't affect me. Actually, I am so much in distress that words aren't enough to describe my mental state right now, but I am just being optimistic.
What if they both will get out of their coma in a week?
The doctor said that there is a possibility of that too.

I said, "I can understand that. This is a tough time for us all. Actually, I called you to tell you that doctor said that we can take Jennie home and he can arrange everything at home and send two nurses for her surveillance. So I think I should take Jennie to my home and you could take Ryan home also."