The Stranger in my room

Chapter 57

_________
JENNIE
_________

After the doctor left, Aiden told me to go back to my home before Ryan wakes up. So Alex and I bid our good byes to them and left from there.

We were sitting in Alex's car, my mind still engrossed with the thoughts about Ryan.

Suddenly Alex's voice brought me back to the present, he suggested, "How about, we go to somewhere to hangout?"

I looked at him, he gave me a glance and continued, "And afterall we don't have college today, and your mood is a bit uptight too. Please don't deny Jennie."

I agreed,"Okay fine. But where will we go?"

He thought for a while and then said,"How about a movie?"

I thought for a second then agreed.

After 20 minutes of drive he pulled the engine outside a movie theatre.
It has been so long that I haven't gone to watch out a movie since a long time. I remembered last time I went to watch movie with my mother 2 years ago. After that I haven't been out for a movie.
I haven't been on a movie date with Ray. We have never been out for a movie. We should go out for stuff like this , watching movies and hanging out. It will be so fun.
When he will be perfectly fine, then we both will visit several places together.
We will stay together afte that.
How nice would it be, when we will hangout in college also, and all people in college will know about us being in relationship. This will feel so nice to have him all. Now it feels like I just have a part of him. Not fully.
But soon be will be fully mine and then we will lead  a happy life.

_________
ALEX
_________

I know that these irrational feelings erupting inside my heart are unethical. But heart want what it wants. Everytime I try to suppress my feelings it just pop up more intensely.

Right now I am sitting adjacent to Jennie in a movie theatre. This watching movie was just an excuse to spend more time with her.
I just wanted to see her beautiful smile for a little more time. I wanted to hear her ranting for a little more time.

I know that every time when her face lits up and a bright smile finds it's way to her cheeks while watching the actors kissing, is because she is assuming herself and Ryan in that place, while my stupid heart assumes her and me, but still my heart flutters by seeing her happy. I know that I am not the cause of her happiness, that I am not the one she dreams about, but still it aches right in the core of my heart to see her in pain.

These feelings make me helpless. This one sided love is so overwhelming yet disheartening. It makes you feel like a winner and a loser altogether. At one time you win and at the same time you lose.
Like at this moment when I am witnessing Jennie smiling and happy and she is with me, this is my victory but still knowing the fact that maybe the reason behind that smile is not me but some other guy whom she love, this is my loss. Still this love is alluring. This one side love is the most purest form of love, because in this we have no expectations of getting back the love we are offering to the other person but still we submit and involve ourselves fully for our loved one's happiness. We invest our own happiness just to make the other person smile. Here is it not a business of give love and take love, but it is like worship, we just serve ourselves for other person. We worship the other person without demanding anything in return or even worse like seeing our love, loving someone else.
She was like magnet and I was her magnetic field. I always stay around her, I am around her everytime in all worries and sadness, glories and happiness but I can't be with her. Her pair in with a metal only. She will get together with a metal not to the magnetic field which helped her to get to the metal, and myself always stay around her like a shield.