faded scars (old habits die hard)

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written on 3/12/21

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i'm sure there's a reason

there must be a way

to cover the lesions

you gave me today

no i did not cry

i don't think i can

i don't want to pry

but was this your plan?

to give me your pain

to see how it feels

what more did you gain?

what was the ideal?

why should i stay here

if this isn't love

i think that it's clear

that i've had enough

so why don't i run?

what more could you give?

i just want to be done

i just want to live

my eyes want to close

but not just to sleep

though you would oppose

that's not mine to keep

you take what i owe

and always by force

it's never my own

it's now only yours

i wish i decided to know you

instead of not having the choice to

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don't worry i am okay. if you ever feel anxiety where do you feel it mainly? if it's not just in like my head or chest i feel it in my hands and sometimes also my forearms. idk why but that's what i'm feeling rn but hope you have a good dayyyy

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