written on 1/31/22
---
let's not glorify
the time spent apart from each other
remember how it is difficult
straining to connect
while finding little time to settle
attempting to find a way to be okay
when this time to yourself is anything but
i can't verbalize the sensations felt
yet they agonize all the same
no matter if there are words to describe
it's awful
realizing that you drown yourself in the past in order to float in the present
pestering over every "what if" moment
and wishing things had been different
is happiness only given from your misery?
it seems every happy thought finds its way after being born from sadness
and change seems to take a new form
every couple of months
that way it's shiny and new every time it has to prove that it's occurring
i'm afraid to tear off it's deception
i fear what's left underneath is what i dread the most
loss. and abandonment. and truth.
the truth that everything is just words wrapped up in flattery, and nothing else
a beautiful box with a big bow
but nothing inside.
---
my oh my has it been awhile? i don't really remember cause i don't have much of a concept of time. i need to try and write more and make it a goal to post at least once a month. ground myself in what i used to be good at and reconnect with the parts of myself i've lost touch with. i miss you, it's good to be back. love you lots.
YOU ARE READING
folie
Poetryjournal-like entries taken from my journal filled with poems and tales that might not make much sense to you. read if you don't mind it, though.
