folie

pinned down

written on 9/28/20

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i won't be forceful

i'm not resentful

not towards you anyway

in some form of an apology

you whisper words that don't make sense

however, in this state of mind,

they might as well have been words of a prayer

the time i've spent not remembering

are the moments you spend trying to remind me

how could i possibly forget precious moments with you?

my saving grace, the fuel to my nightmares

you've brought this shadow of darkness

yet you still shine as bright as any star

and i still feel like i'm drowning

because you plunge my head under the water

in hopes that i'll scream

my lungs burn

i've woken up

maybe it isn't myself that inflicts this pain

you want me to keep hurting

you are desperate for these inflictions

so when i cry out in agony

you are there to comfort me

as if it wasn't you that brought out the worst

i'm sobbing

my breaths are shaky as i'm trying to find air

i'm keeping my head down

but in your arms i know

you're smiling down at me, at this pain i'm enduring

and somehow i still love you enough to repeat the cycle

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this is a little old but i was just thinking about it cause idk why just cause i feel what i feel. anyways hope you enjoyyy or not.