Ace: His Angel (Phoenix Riders MC 1)

52: Broken

***Trigger Warning: Rape, abuse, mental illness***

Kaitlyn POV

Looking up, tears streamed down Kyle's face, and my heart broke. I never wanted to hurt him, especially not with my past, but I have, and I can't do anything to change it. Carefully, I crawled to the edge of the bed and pulled Kyle to sit next to me, holding his hand.

"I should hold you while you cry, not the other way around. How are you okay?" he asked, concerned.

"I'm not," I whispered, finally acknowledging it myself. "Wounds will heal and fade, but the damage done internally is far worse than any physical damage," I replied, holding back my tears. Kyle returned to the armchair, and I sat across from Ace.

"I'm broken. He broke me in every way, and no one wants a broken and damaged girl. Even now, I don't fully see or understand the extent of the damage done. It wasn't just sexual, but emotional and mental, and it still affects me. Like how everything was my fault, even if it wasn't. I learned to accept blame and apologize every time. I didn't realize that wasn't normal," I admitted.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" Kyle asked, blaming himself.

"Truth is, I was raped and abused, and no one believed me," I quietly confessed. No one believes me. But how can they when I can't remember everything clearly?" I shook my head as silent tears fell, trying to take some deep breaths. Pain radiated throughout my body, but I tried to hide it.

Kyle paced around the room, struggling to process everything, but Ace remained silent. He hadn't moved, and I desperately wanted to know what he was thinking. His hazel eyes met mine. They were dark and unwavering, but there was no mistaking the anger he felt.

"I am not an Angel by any means, and I have never claimed to be. I knew how to hurt him, so I did. He couldn't give me what I needed to feel loved or function in a relationship, so I hit him where it counts," I said, scared of what Ace thought of me now.

Sitting this close to Ace gave me anxiety. So, I moved to the floor, needing to be grounded. "I'm not whole, and I don't know if I ever will be. After everything I've been through, I want to believe I'm okay and a Tiger, but I'm not," I claimed.

Ace moved towards me but stopped short. I glanced at Kyle, who stopped pacing, waiting to see what Ace would do. Finally, he crouched in front of me, refusing to let me go through this alone.

I couldn't look at him as I stumbled over my words. "I hurt people; I hurt you. You say I'm your old lady and forever, but that was before. If you want to leave, I won't blame you. I can't guarantee a relationship with everything you need or want. I'm not an angel..." I choked out through my tears. Afraid I lost the man I love.

Ace held out his hands. Try Kaitlyn. Try. I placed my hands in his, and he rubbed small circles on the back, and his hazel eyes found mine through the tears. "You hurt him to protect yourself. You were in pain and did what you had to do. To protect yourself. I'm not perfect, and you've seen my demons, but you still love me, and that's why you will always be my Angel," he assured me.

I want to be accepted and loved for where I am, and Ace is accepting me.

 He understands. Someone understands.