Hospitalised//5sos©

Audrey

" They all hate me, they want me dead. They think I'm ugly and fat. They hate me. It's clear, I'm never going to be loved. Everyone hates me " my thoughts storm inside my mind and I find myself slipping down the dark hole.

My whole body is numb and I feel like I'm trapped and drowning. There is no escape I'm screaming but no one can hear me.

Tears fall rapidly and everything around me is blurry. The pain never stops. I want to believe people like me but I can't. It's impossible. I'll always be unlovable.

I hear a knock on my door a nurse stands there's she's talking but I can't hear her, she leaves and my sister enters. I stare at her in shock why is she here?

*flashback*
I was walking home from school when I heard moaning and weird noises coming from somewhere. Being a curious 12 year old I followed the noise to find Jackson (My sisters boyfriend) doing something they call rooting with Becca (Chrissy's Best friend).

I ran as fast as I could home. Panicking and tripping over

I remember yelling to my sister what happened and not even a minute later  i remember the smack my mother gave me 

Chrissy left straight after that moment and all i could think was it's all my fault.

I remember running to my room and crying. Everything was my fault. I also remember Running to the bathroom locking myself In and without thinking the cold razor sliced  my skin and I kept going till all I saw was black and red. That was only the start

*end*

Chrissy left because of me, I know it. If I hadn't of told her she would've never left. If I wasn't born she'd be happy and have everything. It's all my fucking fault.

Instead of Chrissy slapping me she just hugs me. Tears fall and I begin to cry again.

"Its all my fault" I mumble

"It's all my--"

Chrissy lets go of me for a second then speaks

"No it's not. I left because of Jackson and Because I saw how much our parents hurt you. It made me sick. And all I could do was leave. But you're here in this place and my heart is breaking baby. Your my little sister I need you and I love you and if I stayed you wouldn't be in this situation it's all my fault"

I stare at her in confusion, never has anyone told me they loved me. My sister loves me and she didn't leave because of me she left because she loves me. However to hear my sister say that she thinks it's her fault makes me think she's stupid and my sister is definitely not stupid.

Chrissy looks completely different from me. We don't even look like sisters. She's prettier and has tattoos everywhere. She also has long straight black hair. When I last saw her; I was 12 and she was 14; she had  frizzy black hair and no tattoos but now she looks different but a good different.

I wonder how she found out about me but all that matters now is my sister loves me.

"Dree you okay?" She asks sincerely 
"Yeah just happy your here" I add and it's true 
"I missed you" she replied
"I missed you so much Chris it was crazy. Things changed so fast and it all hurts still. But you love me and I know that now"

"Baby I will always love you, I'm so sorry you're going through this all" a tear slips down Chrissy's face.

"I love you too Chris" I hug her and for once in my life I feel loved.

My sister loves me, and I know that now.

It wasn't my fault. I am loved.

(short chapter BCUZ writers block but that's Chrissy attached. Hope you liked it)