Hospitalised//5sos©

Calum

They say drugs are bad for you, but how come they're the only things helping me. It's funny how they say that when drugs are my happiness. How is it that what they think is bad for me is actually so good. How is that possible? maybe they just don't see it the way I do. Imagine being able to just remove all that bad stuff from your mind ... well that's what drugs do for me. Yet I'm treated like a freak. I deserve happiness and therefor I deserve drugs. They think I need rehab but they're wrong.

When my dad left us I was only five and my mum became depressed she would lock herself in her room for days while my older sister Mali basically raised me till my mum was stable. Then when I started meeting new people I was introduced to the world of drugs.

My first time was at 13 with my mate Jason who was 16 we had bought an ounce of weed and sat together in his garage with his dad's old bong. The first hit was weird I coughed a lot I wasn't used to it then the more I took the better it got. Slowly my body felt like jelly and I was floating. Everything felt like so amazing and the more I did it the better it got. The more drugs I did the more experiences I had. Some were great and some weren't but I'd rather be high then back in reality where it's all pure shit.

My first girlfriend at age 15 was Debbie Ferguson she was skinny, brunette and had the most brightest and beautiful eyes ever. She had deep dimples and the cutest laugh. One night I snuck out to hers and we hung out smoking weed. She started to get really touchy and we ended up having messy unprotected sex. Weeks went by and she was pregnant and refusing to abort. That fucked me up and I contacted Jason and we hit up every drug dealer we could find using our savings allowance and stolen money from our parents. In the end we had four tabs of acid, an ounce of weed, a small back of cocaine, cough syrup, heroin, adhd pills and a box of vodka. That night Jason and I got absolutely fucked up. Jason and I got into the car and drove off but the car hit a log truck and Jason was killed instantly but I was fine. That was my first drug conviction.  I spent a few months in rehab then left and relapsed again. I hung out with drug dealers and was hooked on drugs. I was never sober and by sixteen I moved out and moved into an apartment with druggies. I was always doing some type of drug and I even started doing crack daily. I lost 40 pounds and was stick thin. My face was filled with acne and breakouts. I couldn't function properly and I was too drug fucked to think.

Finally at seventeen I got truly and absolutely fucked on acid mixed with weed, crack, cough syrup and heroine and tried to shoot up the local bank. I was taken into custody then moved into this hospital. But they can't help me only drugs.

{A/N
Finally updated. Hope you like. Calum makes me die. Does this make up for his assholeness ?}