Hospitalised//5sos©

Nina

I miss my grandmother. I miss her so much. She kept me safe.

//memory//
I was 10 and Grandma and I were out together for the day, she took me to the park to feed the ducks and then we went to the ice cream shop where she bought me a double scoop chocolate cone.  Then Grammy tool me to the circus that was on, I've always wanted to go to The circus but daddy would never let me. That night when I fell asleep in Grammys car Dad got angry and hit her. She grabbed me and we drove to hers.  I stayed with her for a week until Dad calmed down.  I loved my Grammy she always kept me safe.
--

But now she can't. She's dead and I'm no longer safe. I cry not just little tears but big ones, tears of grief. I can't ever ever forgive my father for what HE did to my Grammy.

--
I held the pencil sharpener id stole from the art cubboard when no one was lookinh meaning no one would notice that it was missing. I broke it instantly and fished out the blade. I pulled my sleeve up to revel old scars and dragged the blade creating new ones. Taylor walked in on the fifth cut and cried.
"Darling no"
She held me and grabbed the pencil sharpener pieces and the blade then quickly disposed off them she came back with some dressing and wiped clean my cuts and dressed them. She made me promise not to do it again and she promised not to tell.

She sat on my bed and we talked.
"I know it's hard but tell me of the famous Grammy "

"Well when I was little I got really bad nightmares and she used to sing to me. The song went
-Now darling shut your eyes tigjt
You won't be infor a nasty fright
The monsters only want to play
They only come out to say
Will you child be friend
Will you help me defend
Any scared little girls
From the terrible scary world"
I couldn't continue I was crying too much
"That is a beautiful song. Before my Grandpa died I remember the song he sang to me when I felt sad"
"What was it?" I asked inbetween sobs
" when you feel sad my dear
Make sure it's my voice you hear
Telling you be strong have no fear
No need to shed a tear
My child you are safe here
Grandpa is here for you my dear" she couldn't continue either so we both sat crying.

When we gathered our selves Taylor made me go get breakfast while she prepared for group, I smiled. I always liked Taylor it was just hard to trust people after being hurt so much.