Hospitalised//5sos©

Patient Essay

Ashton.
When I was nine everyone hated me even my family. I never knew why but I was unloveable. That's when Niall turned up. He was my best friend. I didn't even know where he came from but I had a friend.

My family got freaked out of me and would pretend I was dead. I would always talk to Niall whenever things were hard.

So one day I snapped and Niall told me what to do. Grab the gun and shoot my family.
They're alive just very badly injured, I wasn't a good shooter anyway.  My mum probably got it the worse. She's still in a coma apparently but she isn't dead.

I wasn't sad when i did it I enjoyed it. But Niall wanted me to kill them but the police were called after the first shot. And because I had thrown my stepdad against the glass cabinet the neighbours called police. I was caught and Niall hated that. He is my best friend but he's evil. He's reading this so I'm going to stop. Niall doesn't like you Taylor so I don't like you either. Bye

My goal: get out of here

Cadence

The first time I decided not to eat was when I was 12, I was a fat twelve year old and everyone teased me. I had my first boyfriend ; Jack. I thought I was Inlove with him but I started gaining weight like crazy and one day Jack just came up to me and said
"you're too fat for me. I hate hugging you and holding your hand it's gross" then a few days later he was with Katie Holmes the thing about Katie is that Katie's hotter and skinnier and prettier than me.
He broke my heart and that's when I decided to show him I will be skinnier and prettier then Katie Holmes.

I fasted and purged for months. I began stealing laxitives and dieting pills from the medicine cabinet and became obsessed with exercise.I became obsessed with sites promoting eating disorder. I was happy because I finally could control something. It was a deadly cycle but i was hooked.

I'm 16 now and I'm still starving myself and trying to be skinnier. I'm still fat and pudgy.

Fuck why did you make me write this. Fuck you Taylor.

My goal: not get force feed I don't know?

Luke

I'm still a princess ;with a broken crown though. My mummy loves me but she was scared. I grabbed the big knife and drew a pretty heart on my wrist. Then I poked my self with the knife in my tummy. It hurt but people were being so mean to me this felt like it was the best option.

Calum is mean to everyone. What's a tranny Taylor? Is that a princess? Everyone used to call me that and I never knew what it meant. Is it bad?

I'm still a princess though.

Am I Taylor?

My goal : make friends

Audrey

There's not much to say everyone hates me. So I hurt my self. I hate myself too. I scratch a lot on my forearms. I love the pain and the blood.

I hate myself but I wish someone liked me but no one will.

Taylor why do i have to write.

All you need to know is people hate me. I hate me and overall: I  deserve pain. Bye

My goal: have someone not hate me for once

Michael

When I was younger there was this kid called Samuel and he always got sick. One time he got really sick and spread his germs on me and I was put in the isolation ward. I hated germs ever since but then it got worse when I was in middle school and I took health class. Germs are everywhere and that scared me.

Then I started wanting to make everything perfect. So I guess that's how I got here. My mum thinks I'm crazy. But I'm not? Right?

I just hate germs and like equal things and putting stuff in order.

I hate talking about this let alone writing so bye Taylor.

My goal: .....i don't know yet
Nina.

I can't even write without panicking or my mind instantly causing a flashback. Do you KNOW HOW MUCH THEY FUCKING SUCK. ALOT.

I can't even write this right now. I probably will never be ready. I can't do this right now. I'm going to leave now. It's too much.
Bye Taylor.

My goal; to sleep without nightmares 
Calum

Fuck this its bullshit.

Basically drugs help because this world is a shit hole. Have you ever injected heroin? It's fucking amazing and it stops everything.

Weed calms me

Cocain helps me be happy

Heroin stops the pain

Pills full my emptiness

Alcohol lets me have a good time without being depressed

Basically Drugs fucking help BUT MY SHIT HEAD PARENTS TOOK THEM.

DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH THAT HURTS.

FUCK THIS.

WHY AM I EVEN WRITING TO YOU. FUCK THIS
My goal; get the fuck out of this shit hole

Heather.
Im fucked up. Who the fuck else blacks out here. no one else. Im the only crazy here I mean aside from Ashton. They don't get it all this trauma in my life fucked me up. I could of killed my own sister like what the fuck!

I can't write anymore I'm sorry but unless you want me angry and to black out. I'm sorry

Goal; not to black out ever again
'

((I like this chapter, so I posted the trailer on YouTube ; Hospitalised trailer© - Lisa Shortland))