"It was absolutely nothing. I had no ties. No bittersweet memories. I was leaving nothing behind. Never experienced companionship, never been in love. And in that moment, all I felt was loneliness and regret."
But there's always a first time..
''We need to talk about something, Gallahad.'' Merlin spoke looking directly at Harry before sitting on the edge of the table and propping himself up on his elbows, Egssy served himself cup of whiskey on the table under the window ''You know... it's a very delicate subject you two having a relationship.'' He continued, Harry raised his eyebrows a little surprised, he never thought he was going to have that kind of conversation at work, Egssy joined the table to pay more attention ''I understand." Harry said, staring at the wooden table in front of him like it is too interesting for a man ''I know you have full capacity to keep the job well done and ethics, but you also know that it can put your two lives at risk...'' Merlin spoke while looking closely at Harry ''Her enemies, your enemies..'' Egssy kept his attention on Merlin and Harry, still silent ''You need to keep this a secret by the public eye.'' Merlin spoke clearly ''It's not a relationship.'' Harry finally spoke, Egssy looked at him confused and and moved in the chair to ajust his posture "Certainly there is something between the two of you, and I want to know if you are sure about it." Merlin opened a folder, which contained a security agreement, basically saying Harry have full responsibility for any negative results that this relationship would bring to work.
Clause 1 - Both agents are aware that any form of love relationship inflicts clear rules of the Kingsman act of conduct.
...
Clause 4 - If both parts still decide to maintain a relationship, full responsibility is taken for the risks that this may entail in the profession, being any error, misconduct or attitude that takes into account the safety of any agent, in withdrawal position, leads the parts to adapt to the normal world without security, support or help from the company, giving away any past experiencie at Kingmans Secret Service.
...
I ________ am aware of all the risks, responsibilities and consequences of taking this choice .....
While Harry read clause by clause, in all those 10 pages of explanation, Egssy watched him carefully while drinking his whiskey. It was clear from Harry's expression that it was like an abomination, after all the years of professionalism and dedication he had offered to be an agent. Harry handed back contract to Merlin, silently and without signing anything.
"Harry, if you don't sign this, I'm afraid you won't be able to have any kind of relationship with her anymore, on and off work." Merlin warned him, the room was silent for a few minutes, Harry stared at the table still lost inside his mind, Merlin took that as a ''no'' and putted the contract in the folder again "I hope you know what you're doing, I speak as a friend." He touched Harry's shoulder before walking out the door, Egssy expression was too serious, and propped himself up on his elbows before start talking ''Do you know what you just did?'' he asked, irritated, as always, calm and thoughtful attitudes without taking the emoticons seriously, always made him mas, he didn't enjoy living with robots.
''Yes, I am saving my life and hers.'' Harry looked at Eggsy, sure of what he was saying ''Really?'' Egssy asked ''Even after everything you planted in this situation...'' Egssy leaned back on the chair, without believing "Egssy, I don't expect you to unders..." Egssy cut him off "Understand what? That you maintain your work ethic but not the ethic in your personal life?'' Egssy stood up angry ''You haven't lived any moment in your life that involved feelings, and now you play with someone else's!'' He continued ''And not just another person, an incredible woman, who is a best friend a man can have and I am happy to be lucky enough to have her by my side, that's why i will never break her heart.'' Egssy pointed his finger at Harry's ''I'm very grateful.'' Harry spoke coldly with a slight smile on his face, hiding any real feelings he might have.
''Really? Breaking her heart?'' Egssy laughed ironically ''I know the two of you have already kissed, and you should take it more seriously, because she looks tough but I'm sure if you disappear like that without explanation, you will lose someone who cares a lot, who will suffer every day.'' Egssy spoke stopping in front of the table ''How old do you think I am?'' Harry asked calmly, Egssy moved his shoulders a bit ''I'm old enough to be her father, how long do you think it will take her to look in the mirror and realize that there is an old man lying in her bed?'' Harry seemed very uncomfortable with that subject ''Never.'' Egssy replied ''Nowadays it is very common, of course you wouldn't know.'' Egssy kept his face serious ''Egssy, she deserves to have a normal life.'' Harry said, turning to face the table ''Our lives will never be normal, look at us, she deserves to be happy, at least, period.'' Egssy touched the table with his finger tips, knowing that his friend was going to have to go through a pain that is greater than any pain that their profession could bring. Deep down Eggsy wanted to protect her, not only physically, but emotionally, because he knew that the pain of a broken heart was worse than a shot, and he knew that Harry would be able to tear someone's heart with great ease, which would make everything more difficult, as he would also be in a situation between his two best friends.
''Harry....'' Egssy thought for a few seconds, confused about the real gravity of the situation ''Did you two had sex?'' Harry was a little surprised by the question, but he didn't take his attention off the table, immersed in some world he had never known before ''Harry!'' Egssy repeated making him look him in the eye, the silence answered the question ''Coward.'' Egssy pressed his lips together in anger, realizing his best friend had gone too far to simply forget as if nothing had happened, Egssy went out the door fast as a rocket, straight to his friend's house.
