"It was absolutely nothing. I had no ties. No bittersweet memories. I was leaving nothing behind. Never experienced companionship, never been in love. And in that moment, all I felt was loneliness and regret."
But there's always a first time..
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I took a sip of wine and sat on the floor in front of the fireplace closing my eyes feeling the heat warming my face and the crackles of firewood echoed through the silent room at night ''You should buy a television...'' I heard Egssy's voice , I giggled and looked at him who was sitting behind me in the chair "I don't watch a lot of TV." I took another sip of the wine Egssy had brought "And what do you do alone at home? Knitting?'' He joked making me laugh ''Sometimes Harry reads, works, or we just enjoy the day together...'' I smiled thinking about him, he had been on a mission in the United States for 3 days and I couldn't wait for him to finish it so we can see each other again ''Have you thought about you two spending this time alone with someone else?'' he looked at me while playing with the glass in his hand ''Like who?'' I said confused looking at him, who lifted his shoulders ''Maybe a little Harry...'' he smiled ''No.'' I said quickly laughing, looked back at the fire and imagined what it would be like if we had a normal life ''I know that Harry wanted...'' he spoke trying to instigate this desire in me too "If I ever have a child, I want it to be around my 38 years..." I said staring at the fire, lost in my thoughts "But then..." he started but I cut him off "I know... Harry would be too old, so it's not a possibility" I got up and walked to the kitchen, leaving the empty glass in the sink.
''When are you two moving to a place of your own? Or maybe choosing one of the houses to stay for real? '' Egssy said looking at me while I sat in the chair taking a deep breath and looking at the fire ''Harry is very attached to his things, and I am attached to all of this here. In fact, I wouldn't move away from my best friend.'' I smiled at Egssy ''So it will always be like this?'' He asked leaving me anxious, as much as I wanted to make our own special place, we both might have to face the fact that things would never be 100% normal ''For now, yes'' I said, and honestly it was enough as long as I was with the one I love ''Egssy, I need to sleep, it was a very busy day, you can stay if you want." I smiled walking to the bedroom "Okay, I'm just going to turn off the fire and I'm going to sleep too." I heard him speak and went straight to bed after brushing my teeth, Egssy lay down beside me and soon I fell asleep.
I opened my eyes when I heard the entrance door closing, I saw Harry entering the room still wearing a suit and taking off his glasses "Hi." I smiled, missing him, Egssy moved on the bed and turned to my side waking up "Well this is not the scene I expected to see when I got home. '' He smiled approaching us, I sat on the bed yawning, unable to stop thinking about the earlier talk about having a house of our own ''Now I am officially Harry Hart, Bruv.'' Egssy spoke sleepily, while Harry kissed my head ''Your glory days are over.'' He spoke taking off his tie ''I already knew...'' Egssy stood up, I giggled ''You can stay on the sofa, there are blankets in the closet.'' I looked at Egssy ''You haven't seen each other for days, I'm going to my house, it's safer, good night lovebirds.'' He said rubbing his face and walking out. I chuckled and laid my head on the pillow, dying for sleep. Harry took off his blazer and sat on the bed. ''I missed the smell in here...'' he spoke softly and leaned with his hands beside my body, bending down to kiss me on the lips, I touched his face and ran my hand through his hair, which was still perfectly arranged ''Come lay down...'' I spoke with my face still glued to his ''I will, my darling...'' he gave me another kiss and stood up taking off the rest of his clothes.
