"It was absolutely nothing. I had no ties. No bittersweet memories. I was leaving nothing behind. Never experienced companionship, never been in love. And in that moment, all I felt was loneliness and regret."
But there's always a first time..
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I stayed late at work that friday to catch up on everything that was a mess, I also spent my last hours helping Merlin collect state data and analyze them, looking for possible threats ''Oh shit.'' Merlin said complaining and I looked at him confused ''Egssy had a fight in a bar, apparently with his stepfather.'' The fight was huge but wasn't this exactly that was worrying Merlin, Egssy had a weakness, his mother which he still keep in touch despite the rules and she didn't had a good taste for men, it all ends up with Egssy trying to protect or revenge her.
It was the same thing every time, she got hurt and he got into a fight, it was understandable for everyone but it could become a habit and a perfect trap to get Egssy's attention and lead him to commit something irrational, or even use his mother as bait to mask something much worse, putting Egssy's life and ours at risk. Last time Harry had dealt with this in a calm but serious way, but it was possible to see the frustration in his eyes, because he was the one who trained Egssy.
''Good night, Merlin. Enjoy the weekend!'' I smiled putting on my coat and left a kiss on his cheek ''Send greetings to the old man.'' he said while still sitting in his chair, as usual he would work late again. I drove back to the city and took the time to do groceries, we still haven't had time to fill the kitchen with foods and snacks, we have been ordering food for almost two months we are here, since we were focusing our free time on the decoration and some adjustments in the yard.
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As I was not going to be able to carry all the shopping on my own, I parked in front of the house and walked to the door to call Harry but sundelly heard voices and opened the door a little scared by the apparent fight going on ''If you don't put your head in place, you're going to lose everything you've achieved so far!'' Harry said angrily in the middle of the living room in front of the fireplace, his shoulders were tense and Egssy had thrown his suit on the sofa ''What's going on?'' I said nervously walking over to them, I noticed that Egssy's white shirt was covered in blood probably from the previous fight ''Harry wanting to control my life, nothing different, that's all!'' he spoke walking up to me kissing my cheek, his expression of discomfort scared me ''Calm down you two..'' I said "What the fuck! I put you in there, I need you to understand that there are certain rules that have to be followed!'' Harry sat on the couch uncomfortable, he hadn't even looked at me yet and his face was red, I never seen Harry that angry ''Rules, Harry? Really?'' Egssy said frowning and walking up to him ''Yes!'' Harry spoke loudly raising his head and looking towards Egssy ''What do you know about family?'' Egssy raised his shoulders ''Egssy!'' Harry spoke in a warning tone, his face was pure anger, why he was mad about this question? "You have no idea what it's like to have a family and actually care for them!" Egssy shouted, gesturing with his hands, making the verbal fight more and more physical "Boys!'' I said but was completely ignored, Harry's face seemed like he was waiting for something, for a certain point or judgment before he attacks.
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''You couldn't take care of yours!'' As soon as Egssy finished the sentence, Harry threw himself around his neck, throwing him at the wall and holding the collar of his shirt tightly ''You you know very well that I couldn't do anything about that!'' Harry shouted with his face almost touching Egssy's. Do what? Knows what? About who?. In seconds Egssy kicked him and they started a physical and aggressive fight ''No!'' I shouted approaching without knowing what to do and afraid of being hit ''Harry!'' I screamed again nervously seeing the two exchanging punches and shoves, both ignored me.
I walked quickly to both of them and got in the middle trying to pull Harry away, I was so nervous that I tripped and as soon as I got up to interfere again in the middle of the two of them I felt everything go black and my body collapsed on the floor.
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''What have you done?!'' I heard Egssy and opened my eyes coming back from fainting, I closed my eyes in pain and brought my hand up to my cheek where i had received a punch, my head was shaking and an instant headache started by the strong hit ''Sorry!'' I heard Harry's voice and looked at him kneeling beside me, I realized that tears were coming down my face, the pain was miserable, it was the first time I really felt Harry's strength and it wasn't funny at all ''Darling, let me see!'' Harry said as I stood up ''You two, get out!'' I screamed extremely hurt at everything that was going on, seeing the two men I loved fighting in this way had broken my heart ''Please...'' Harry said, I looked at his puppy eyes and he couldn't fake that he was in a huge internal pain, I know he felt his soul burn with my gaze.
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''If you don't want to know my strength, you better go out that door in 3 seconds!'' I said feeling hot angry tears streaming down my cheeks, I had enough of that situation, and being in that position was humiliating ''Out!'' I shouted looking at Egssy who stared down and leaved before Harry, who followed him to the front door.
