"It was absolutely nothing. I had no ties. No bittersweet memories. I was leaving nothing behind. Never experienced companionship, never been in love. And in that moment, all I felt was loneliness and regret."
But there's always a first time..
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CHAPTER 13
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I opened my eyes slowly and looked to the side to find the most beautiful and kind man I had ever met in my life, I was still wondering how a man who spent years of his life completely reserved in order to intimacy, had the courage to open up to someone like me and prove to me daily that he was right about that decision. Even in the simplest moments, like being naked beside me on the bed, expressing deep emotions, moaning loudly, giving himself the freedom and permission to experience the pure company of someone without being afraid or nervous about it, and nothing in the world made me happier to know that I could give him that pleasure. Each day that passed I learned a little bit more about Harry, and despite all these months with him, I knew that there were many layers to be discovered yet, kinks, routine, etc. As much as I knew a lot about his little quirks and tastes, like his obsession with my hands, touching them whenever possible, caressing them and when I touched his skin it seemed that it contained electricity between our bodies.
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When walked by him at work, he always followed me with his eyes, his mouth was always closed in a straight line that I loved to kiss without warming, pulling out the most beautiful smile I had ever seen in my life. Before we were togheter I never saw Harry smile a lot, to be honest the first months I became a Kingsman agent I never saw Harry smile at all, I didn't even knew if his teeth were straight or not, he made it very clear that he was a serious man and skeptical about everything, but today a kiss on the lips could take a giant lovely smile from that gorgeous face.
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Every night before sleeping Harry laid his head on my chest while I stroked his soft hair, certain nights that were more difficult than others for reasons I didn't know or because of work, he always tended to hug me tightly than usual, sleeping to the sound of my heart.
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Most of the days we didn't have time to have breakfast at home, so Harry always brought me a cup of coffee or tea in the meeting room, depending on how I woke up and how much energy I needed, it doesn't matter if he was busy or not, he always took his time in the morning to bring me a hot liquid at work. Our first month in the new house was great, he showed me to be quite a perfectionist, the house was always tidy, it was forbidden to eat in bed and the wardrobe was always organized, the way in which situation he really was serious about these matters and not even my laugh made him relax and maybe give up on being such an old man. Of course, none of this was reason for a fight, I even liked being part of his world, just as I knew that I had incorporated a lot of my days into his.
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Sometimes when I read in bed or sitting in the backyard, I caught him staring at me with a look that made my heart beat fast, being wanted and loved the way he showed it was like a fairy tale, indeed I was engaged to a truly gentleman.
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Harry's way of showing affection was in two ways, exchanging looks and physical contact, either by holding my hand, sitting next to me, leaving a kiss on my cheek or rubbing my arm whenever he passed by, cuddling, and especially in the bed which was a place for him where there were no limits for fun and caresses. When we were on a mission, he insisted on asking me all the time if I needed something, likewise he never lacked work ethic and we never showed physical affection in the presence of the other agents, but when we were alone... We couldn't take our hands away from each other.
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