"It was absolutely nothing. I had no ties. No bittersweet memories. I was leaving nothing behind. Never experienced companionship, never been in love. And in that moment, all I felt was loneliness and regret."
But there's always a first time..
I finished eating and Harry got up with my plate taking it to the kitchen, he had said almost nothing after last night, my heart was broken ''I will get Merlin, he is waiting for me, in 10 minutes I am back.'' Egssy said getting up from the bed, I nodded and arranged the pillows behind my back. I looked down and pushed the blanket a bit, lifted my shirt and rubbed my belly playing with my fingers imagining that there was something very precious inside, I had never felt this before in my life, it was different, sort of a bond, I felt the heat of the blood coming out of me and I closed my eyes feeling my heart break every time it happened.
I looked at the door and saw Harry looking at me sad, I pulled down my shirt and sighed "It's going to be okay." He sat next to me on the bed and pulled me to his chest "I'm sorry, Harry." I sighed "No, I forbid you to say that.'' He kissed my head ''Nothing is your fault.'' He whispered playing with my hair ''Sorry to be irresponsible with contraceptives...'' I knew I had forgotten to take it because of all the fights and disagreements we were having, I got too distracted "You don't understand..." he raised my chin making me face him "I will be the happiest man in the world if I ever have a child with you, nothing in the world would make me more complete." He smiled without showing his teeth "I want this, for a long time, despite all the barriers." He touched my face caressing my cheek "I'll be here, with you, forever. Regardless of what happens and the difficulties we have to go through." He touched his forehead to mine."I love you." I spoke softly "I love you so much more." I knew he hadn't even touched my belly yet because of fear of having any connection with the baby, seeing his eyes a few minutes ago looking at me, realizing that it would be a feeling that Harry would not be able to disconnect as soon as he felt, for this reason he acted as if I were sick, as if it was me he was taking care of, and I respected that.
I lay on Harry's chest playing with the buttons on his black vest, which was tight around his waist until Merlin and Egssy arrived, Harry got up to make tea "I'm fine, it's just quite shocking." I said with a chuckle "I can't imagine " Merlin held my hand."Whatever happens, we're here, we're your family." he smiled and shook his hand. "I know that, thank you."
-
''Harry...'' I opened my eyes slowly with a lot of pain feeling my legs wet as well as the sheets under me, I moved on the bed and felt something very small inside my panties, I knew what it was, I closed my eyes and I touched Harry's arm, he opened his eyes as soon as I touched him. I looked at his face and took a deep breath, he already knew what it was about, the suffering had come to an end.
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