"It was absolutely nothing. I had no ties. No bittersweet memories. I was leaving nothing behind. Never experienced companionship, never been in love. And in that moment, all I felt was loneliness and regret."
But there's always a first time..
(Will help to read this chapter listening to "No Time To Die" by Billie Eilish)
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I was guided to the dance floor by Max and danced with him feeling everything spinning and my mouth containing a metallic taste of regret, the sooner I understood what was happening, the less it hurt, the less I thought about Harry, the less it hurt, I touched my chest and took off the butterfly necklace "Destroy it..." I told Max giving him the necklace "It's an order." I repeated serious "Erasing the past..." he smiled giving me a quick kiss on lips, which was not returned, I looked at the floor and saw him disappear into the crowd, my inner despair was so big that I could not maintain the normal rhythm of my breathing.
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''Can I have this dance?'' I heard a voice with a British accent behind me and I knew that when I turned around, I would come face to face with Harry, as I did. I put my hand on his shoulder and he grabbed my waist, we danced looking into each other's eyes, my expression was pure regret of my actions and sadness but at the same time there was nothing else to do but to face the reality, I can't say whether I kept the necklace on purpose or not, but I knew he would die if they knew who he was.
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''Max...'' he said turning us around ''Do you know about him?'' I asked keeping a serious expression ''I've known since I saw the letter.'' he replied staring at me ''Does everyone else know?'' I swallowed dry ''No.'' he said, I felt his expression change and his eyes filled with tears, but none fell through his cheeks. I closed my eyes when I felt the gun that Harry pointed at my stomach, hidden by our bodies as we danced through the crowd too distracted to notice anything. I knew that my attitudes only resulted in an ending, and to have old alliances with the opposite side was too risky to let me alive, I already knew that, the news was that it would happen by the hands of the man I loved. I looked at Harry's face and touched his cheek, I loved him completely, without ending, without barriers, and I know that my gaze said all this without my having to speak, I kissed his lips tenderly and I felt a tear trickle down my cheek, our first kiss was at a dance, and our last one would be too.
