"It was absolutely nothing. I had no ties. No bittersweet memories. I was leaving nothing behind. Never experienced companionship, never been in love. And in that moment, all I felt was loneliness and regret."
But there's always a first time..
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I walked in the door and Egssy was sitting on the couch watching TV ''What's up?'' He asked a little scared that I came in so brutally ''I found this!'' I threw the agenda on his lap and sat on the couch, I stared at Egssy as he flipped through the pages ''What's this?'' He looked at me confused ''It was with Harry's condoms.'' I rolled my eyes, he laughed out loud and handed me the agenda back ''Who does it? Isn't it easier to save the number on the cell phone?'' He continued to laugh ''Back then there was no cell phone.'' I spoke seriously, making Egssy laugh even more, I couldn't hide my smile ''And what's the problem?'' He he asked after recomposing himself "I don't know, it just seems a little perverted." I said looking at my hands "It is perverted for a man to have sex?" he raised his eyebrows "No, but keeping the names of the girls in the clothes..." I rolled my eyes "He was a man all by himself, he should have a lot more weird stuff than just this one." He rubbed my back, I looked at the coffee table thinking and then looked to Egssy ''No! He'll be mad, you need to trust him.'' he warned me ''Egssy, I do, but...'' I picked up the agenda and bit my lip thinking, the idea would be to put some of the "truth poison" as I like to call, preventing Harry from lying and I could find out if there was anything really bizarre with all of this ''Go ahead, then!'' he laughed ''But I didn't have anything to do with it, ok?'' I laughed listening to his concern and got up, picked up the agenda and went back to Harry's house.
I took a shower and waited for him to get home, putting a few drops of the liquid in his wine glass and poured one for me "Good night!" Harry came in the door, covered in sweat "Hi." I took the glasses to the living room and sat on the couch ''I'll be right back ...'' he warned me and disappeared into the shower, I kept the agenda under the pillow and stared at the wine glasses thinking about what I was doing, afraid he would be really mad at me, by the time i was giving up on the idea he had already returned "How was your day?" I asked handing him the glass of wine, he stared at me for a few seconds "Okay, what was it?" he looked at the wine and then at me "Nothing.'' I said ''What's in here?'' He looked at me serious, I took his glass and took a sip ''Take mine, you suspect about me so much.'' I said taking another sip ''Okay.." he replied, taking my glass and drinking it.
''Harry, I wanted to talk about something...'' I said pulling the agenda from under the pillow, Harry looked at me seriously ''Really?'' He said as if he didn't believed what was happening, leaving the cup on the center table ''These are the woman you had sex?'' I asked ''Yes.'' He looked at me knowing that I had changed the glasses ''What is the reason for all this? You know I wouldn't lie.'' He said ''How many are there?'' I asked, he looked me in the eye ''About 100...'' he replied looking at his hands ''Have you ever fell in love before?'' I asked in fear of the answer ''No, but I fell in love with you, and at the moment what you are doing is totally meaningless.'' he said angrily ''Why did you keep all the names?'' I asked wanting to finish soon the subject ''Because like me, you know very well that all the data we use for amnesia is reported to the system and for that we need names, phones and any additional information we have.'' I felt horrible when I heard of the real reason ''Didn't you keep it for perversion?'' I said softly, already feeling guilty ''Perversion? As horrible as it sounds, I wanted sex, nothing more and I was sure that they wouldn't remember my name after the act.'' He said ''Was it in your bed?'' I needed to know ''None was in my bed, but you.'' he spoke tired of the questions, but unable to stop answering ''What is the reason for the tie?'' I asked ''I would not waste a good tie..'' he closed his eyes ''You tied them up?'' I asked surprised ''Yes.'' he replied with his eyes still closed ''Do you like to tie people up?'' I asked letting go of my fears and having a bit of fun ''Yes.'' He looked at me ''And have you ever thought of tying me?'' I raised an eyebrow ''Yes.'' he replied again without taking his eyes off mine ''And are you angry now?'' I asked ''Yes.'' I took a deep breath ''And you want to fuck now?'' I asked ''Yes.'' he cleared his throat ''And don't you think it would be dangerous to have sex while being angry?'' I frowned ''No.'' he replied standing up ''And aren't you afraid of hurting me?'' I said looking up at hi ''I want... To hurt you ...'' he whispered, closing his eyes knowing he had been unable to hold his words.
I took a carefully look at him and he smiled "Shit!" I said after looking at the wine realizing he didn't drank any of it "You can't manipulate me like that!" He laughed "It's a Amnesia Agenda, I didn't had sex with these women or man, relax, ok? It was just coincidence being there." He smiled hugging me, i let out a sigh of relief "What about the hurting me shit?" I looked up at him "Darling i get scared of hugging you too tight." He smiled.
