Leave {z.m.}

Fifty Two

"Why, you're up awfully early. You should be asleep; you just got here!" I watched as Greg's wife, Denise, heated some peppermint tea that brought upon an ambrosial fragrance before she pulled her honey blonde hair into a neat bun. "I know, I've just had some trouble sleeping lately," I admitted as Denise turned the stove off and faced me. "Is everything all right?" She questioned quietly with a sympathetic smile.

"Not exactly, but I wouldn't want to bother you with the details." She opened her mouth, probably ready to assure me that I could reveal the truth, but a baby's soft whimper was heard coming from another room, interrupting the chance for her to prompt me. She hurried off to make sure that Theo was okay, and I sighed to myself. I wish I could sleep. I wish I didn't have these noticeable dark circles under my eyes, emphasizing my exhaustion.

Ireland was beautiful, as I had already known. There were too many memories here though, ones that I'd never escape. I rested my head in the palms of my hands and listened to the faint hum of the dishwasher. "Addie," Niall's voice startled me and I met his gaze in an instant. "Come here," he murmured with an outstretched hand motioning for me. I slumped over to him and away from the kitchen counter.

He led me to the guest room that he'd been given and closed the door behind us once my feet gave out beneath me and my body exerted its weight down onto the lavender comforter-covered, queen-sized bed. He shuffled over to the bed and beckoned for me to join him underneath the comforter, which I thought wasn't exactly the best idea. "Niall, I don't think-" "Oh, come on. You need sleep," he rolled his eyes with a grin and I shrugged before climbing in.

I laid my head on the pillow and stared at the ceiling above for a few minutes, desperately wanting sleep but unable to find it.

"Look at me." Niall's gentle hand brushed my cheek and I locked eyes with him, waiting. "I'm looking," I told him with half of a smile. "I'm going to say something I'll regret, and then I'm going to turn over, fall asleep, and you'll forget I mentioned it, alright?"

"But-" "I have to say it." "No you-" "Yes, I do!" I sighed and nodded once. "I might be in love with you. I'm not sure if I really am yet, but I don't want to find out." He turned over without another word and I was too panicked to reply. I could sense that he didn't want me to anyway. I closed my eyes and drifted away, far away. I was finally able to sleep a dreamless slumber, just one of rest at its finest.

The sound of nothing woke me eventually, because I was so accustomed to constant noises around me and the change was unexpected. Niall was no longer beside me, making his presence known with muffled snores, and I was suddenly too afraid to get up again. Did he really expect me to forget? No, he didn't, but he hoped that I would somehow find a way. I couldn't forget Zayn though; Niall should've known that forgetting, for me, would be impossible.

And it's only been....there isn't a clock in here? Of course there isn't. Who even has actual clocks anymore? I stretched, spreading my arms out wide above me, and yawned a few times before pulling back the comforter, allowing my feet to swing over off the side of the bed. They hit the wood-covered floor with a light thud; now comes the truly difficult part—-actually standing. 

I mentally counted to ten and still no luck came to me. I laughed quietly to myself, glad that no one was in here to bear witness to this pathetic struggle. "I'll check in on her for ya, Niall," someone offered. A rushed "holy shit" slipped out from my mouth before I fell to the floor as the door opened to expose a rather perturbed Greg.