Leave {z.m.}

Eighteen

"Zayn! Oh, Zayn! My son, Zayn. I am so sorry. I am so very sorry. I never wanted this life for you. If only she had not cursed your father's bloodline. Zayn." 

My mothers sobs were heartbreaking and unbearable. I remember those few days when I was upset with my mother for something. I would pretend that I did not care how she felt about anything, but when I witnessed her feeling agony and distress, I would be in loads of pain as well.

Today, a few days after my eighteenth birthday, I had died from an absence of air. 

I had been watching water lilies float along in a stream close to my home. I loved the water, but I was also fearful of it. I had never learned how to swim. I had been helpless today; it was a direct cause of never learning how to defend myself...or swim.

A fellow classmate of mine recognized me as he visited the stream. He had always enjoyed pestering me throughout the day. He simply thought it would be amusing to push me in; he knew my lack of knowledge in the art of swimming. I stayed afloat at first, but then I realised that I, in fact, knew absolutely nothing about swimming. So, naturally, I struggled and he laughed.

I did everything I could to help myself, but alas, I drowned anyway. He could not believe I had actually died; he thought it was a joke, so he sat there on a jagged rock laughing at me. Minutes later, I had not resurfaced and he became serious. He called for my mother, and here we are.

"I'm terribly sorry, Mrs. Malik. He was just there in the water and I knew he couldn't swim. I wasn't strong enough to get him out myself, so I got your attention, but it was too late. I feel awful." 

My mother, of course, saw through his pathetic lies, but she did not speak a word to him about it. My impending death just came a bit earlier than she had hoped, but we both knew it was coming whether we wanted to admit it or not.......

 

Thinking back to the day I died, I came to realise what my mistake had been. I thought that I had just never learnt how to defend myself or swim. The real truth was that I was too afraid of the unknown. I feared the water because I could not swim. I never actually tried to swim before. The situation had been repeated now.

I had not wanted to have any relation with Adelaide, because I thought she would die. Strange things were happening though, so I soon recognised that I did not know what would happen. The outcome was unknown again.

 Adelaide was the opposite; yes, she might have feared the unknown, but it didn't matter to her. She ignored her fear and went through with what she wanted. Although part of me wished she hadn't done that, the majority of me was so relieved she did.

The kiss she had laid upon my lips was of utmost passion and anticipation. My mind screamed for me to stop her, yet I did not. I put her life in danger just for a moment of sweet pleasure. I was selfish.

"I'm okay," she was in amazement, as was I. 

Nothing happened to her. She was safe. She was alive. 

"You're okay." My eyes were wide. 

I repeated the words again and Adelaide smiled at me. The question of "how" was one we both had wished to ask, but we did not, for it would ruin this spark of euphoria shared between the two of us.

I longed to kiss her again, but I refrained from it. 

The feelings had revealed themselves from within the emptiness I had become. It was replenishing in a way. Of course, I still remained cautious, but that could have been the start of a new beginning.

It was human nature to feel, and if one had shut off their emotions as I did, human behavior was lost. I was no longer considered human. It was as if I could become my human self again because of Adelaide. As I thought longer and more carefully, many questions arrived.

How was it possible? 

What was it about her? Why was she different? Did she awaken sensations inside me? Had she brought me back to life? Would I be capable of touching and admiring? Was she actually immune to the curse?

Could I love her?

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