Leave {z.m.}

Forty Seven

Addie's P.O.V.

My eyes remained closed, keeping the tears in. He said nothing else, and I knew it was done. It was over. He was over. Done. I didn't even hear him stop breathing, because the thoughts within my head were shouting too loud. It has to be over for her too. She can't get away with this. Not anymore. 

I felt much too numb; it was as though nothing had happened. Everything was the same as before. Zayn and I had switched places, and now I truly knew what life had been like for him, or rather what his first death had been like. Gemma was speaking, but I didn't care what she was saying. I'm blinded by a veil of anesthesia.

I'll get him back one way or another.

One Year Later....

"You didn't have to do that," he frowned while twirling his dark, curly hair that was very similar to mine. My long-lost brother, Harry, had been aging very quickly for the past year. Now, his expedited aging had come to a hault. We were uncertain of how long it would be stopped though. It was very confusing, because he was older than me now even though he was a toddler a year ago; I'm 20 and he's 21.

"I did though. They're all better off...without me," my voice subsequently cracked as I recalled what I'd done exactly one year ago. "You know that's not true, but I guess I understand why you did it," he mused. I still kept a picture of my mother, father, and Cecilia in my wallet. I kept pictures of Beth, Jed, and Camryn too. I missed every single one of them, and it hurt. It still hurt. My family.

Just like it hurt to think about Zayn, and how little time we'd gotten to be together and know each other. I've lost too many people now, but at least I was the cause of the majority of them being disconnected. One year. One year ago I'd erased the memories of my mother, father, Cecilia, Beth, Jed, and Camryn; only the memories they had that included me. 

If they knew nothing about me or my existence, Gemma would have no reason to go searching for answers from them. Although I do love Anne and Harry, they will always be considered a second family to me. I had a family before, and I'll never stop loving them even if they'll never remember loving me. 

Anne and Harry knew everything. I went straight to them after the day Zayn's second chance at life ended. I altered everything I had to: my last name, my parent's name, the records of my past. Everything that was necessary. I still go to the same college, and my teachers and peers know me as "Addie Styles". I hadn't erased Niall's memory, so he was completely out of the loop.

He had demanded answers, but eventually he stopped asking. He just went along with it as if he knew nothing more like everyone else. That's what I appreciated about him the most; he never pestered. He was too kind-hearted and thoughtful to go seeking for answers that he knew someone didn't want him to know just yet.

Today though...today I was going to tell him the truth. The truth about me and my past. The truth about what happened with Zayn. The truth about Gemma and Anne and Harry. All of it. I trust him.

"Don't strain yourself, okay?" Harry pleaded worriedly. "I won't," I promised. Just as everything else had changed, I had changed too. I knew it was there; it was following me everywhere I went. Hovering over me. The umbră, or shadows, wouldn't let me go. Zayn had warned me of it; Because I have a possible fate of becoming a dark sorceress, the more often I use magic, the more umbră that adds on.

It causes me to have mood swings, violent behavior, depression and temporary amnesia. Harry had once joked that maybe it was just a sorceress's version of having a period. I hope not; I don't need to deal with human and sorceress periods. Before, I had relied on information from Zayn...but now that he wasn't here anymore, I had to do my own research.