• Kpop stories •

Kim Mingyu

{ Don't wanna cry }

~ I'm okay ~

I waked up and immediately went to the kitchen. I ate a little breakfast before going brushing me teeth. Then, I walked to the gym and started working out. It is the best feeling, the only thing that I can do without feeling the heavy pain that decided to make my every moves much more difficult. I am always thinking about Y/P... I got out of the gym and took my car. I drove to the company, where I am supposed to work with the boys.

- I'm not okay -

I arrived in front of BigHit and parked my car at my usual spot. It took me everything to get out of the car, I missed too much practice without giving a reason to the boys, I need to make an effort for them. I did not salute the secretary like I did before, I just walked fast to the elevator. Everything is okay, Y/P is/are probably not working today... I took a deep breath and went to the studio. It's been so long that I did not come here...

"MINGYU!" Wonwoo immediately hugged me and the others added themselves to the hug. I needed this...

I sat on the couch and we started working, it helped me thinking about something else, until I saw the place. The place Y/N usually take... where I will never see Y/P again.

~ I don't want to see you ~

The door opened, I wished so hard that it was just Jungkook, my hands crisped at the couch when I saw Y/P pretty face. But something has changed... Y/P smile, I broke it... I did not wanted to see Y/P, my heart will not be able to handle it. Will Y/P look at me? She said Hi, to Jun, it is normal since they are best friend...

- I really want to see you -

Please, please Y/N look here, I need to see what is going on in your eyes. To know how you feel. I want to look at you once again. Make my heart beat again, even if it is only for a minute... And that is when, Y/P sorrowful eyes locked with mine and I felt sparks in my heart. Smile... smile please. Y/P gasped and excuse Y/Pself before getting out of the studio. I felt myself melt in the couch, only wanting to disappear. I saw Wonwoo looking in my direction and I felt my eyes starting to burn, not here, not now...

~ I have to say theses lies ~

He bring me to our room in the dorm. Where we were alone, I felt my heart racing. I am too far from Y/N, I need to go find Y/P and hug Y/P.. I know Y/P will not say no... or maybe I just wish that.

"Hey, are you okay?" I zoomed out and look at Wonwoo's face. He looked worried. Does he know something about Y/N that I don't? Is/ are Y/P okay? Maybe he is worried about me?
"Yeah I am." He tilt his head to the left, I know what mean that mouvement. I look pathetic trying to hide how I feel from him.

- That don't even come from my heart -

"I know you miss Y/P, I can see it in your eyes... talk to me." "I swear I am..." I tried desperately to hide my sadness in a awful move. He frowned, he know I'm lying. Why am I still trying to keep everything inside? I need help, I need to talk, why can't I just let myself do it?

"It's an awful feeling Wonwoo..." He nodded trying to understand my pain, even if he will not ever be able to do that, he tried for me. Y/P was/were everything I could ask for...

~ Because my heart won't listen ~

"I knew you were not feeling well. Let out everything..." I wish I could do as he ask, but I'm too weak, tears will fill up the room in a minute. But I need too... I took a deep breath before trying to talk again, but my throat got dry and I suffocated a second.

I closed my eyes trying to erase the perfect features of Y/N that I see every time I close my eyes. "I was so happy, it was like heaven, unreal..." I took a pause, the words were stuck in my throat, I was not able to let them out.
"But now I just have nothing. I'm left with my tears and my memories of Y/P." He came closer and hugged me, giving me comfort.

- To theses words as I thought -

I started crying miserably on Wonwoo's shoulder. I griped his shirt, scared that he will go, that he will leave me too. He did not seemed to mind since he just hugged me closer. I was in an awful state, my head was pounding, my heart broken and my eyes red. Someone knocked on the door so Wonwoo got out of the hug and got up to open the door while I was trying to stop my tears from falling.

~ Come back ~

I recognize Jun's voice. My hands started shaking, I could have never imagine I would have end up that low, that desperate. Wonwoo let him enter and I froze when I realize he did not just let Jun, but also Y/N. I trust him, but this is too much... I poorly erase the tears from my cheeks and sit straight on the bed, trying to look like I did not just cry about how much I miss Y/N.

"How are you?" This voice, the voice I wanted to hear since so long. I shyly smiled for myself.
"Could not be better." My sarcasm could be smell at miles away. Y/P gave me what I desperately wanted, a smile.

- When half of me is gone -

Jun and Wonwoo did not seem comfortable between Y/P and me, completely understandable... the tension is palpable.
"I just wanted make sure you were okay... I still care you know." I nodded. Y/P turned around and took the doorknob. "Wait!" Y/P looked at me with hopeful eyes. "How are you?" My voice sounded miserable, it was in fact my last chance.

~ How can I live as one ~

"If I am a good detective, I'm going as well as you..." Is/are Y/P as sad as me? "Are you okay?" My voice was too much worried, but I did not care, the only thing I cared about was if Y/P was/were okay. Y/P shake Y/P head and looked at me with half of a smile. I immediately got on my feet and my arms got around Y/P. " I am truly, so sorry." I kissed Y/P head. I know it can be inappropriate, but I can not stay there knowing Y/P is/are suffering. I know how to comfort Y/P so I will not waste my chance.

Y/P arms also hugged me and I felt the weight on my shoulder being more light. "I am the one that broke up remember?" How could I forgot the pain I felt? "It does not matter, I am sorry that you suffer from it. I just want you to be happy." Y/P stopped hugging me and looked at me straight in the eyes. "Are you happy?" "Not without you... I don't think I will ever be happy again... without you." I said it... I could not be more honest than that.

"Then why we make ourselves suffer like that?" "I don't know, tell me? I did not agree to leave you, I just said okay, because I thought you would be happier this way."

- I don't wanna cry -

"Well I am not... it was the biggest mistake I ever made... I'm sorry Mingyu" "Don't blame yourself baby... I'm here." Y/P start crying just like I did before Y/P enter this room. "Can you pardon me? Can you love me like before? Do you think we could be together again?"

Jun and Wonwoo were not there anymore, I do not know when they left, I was probably too hypnotized by my angelic Y/N.

"I would do literally anything to be able to hold you again, to hear you laugh again, to see you happy again... to have you mine again, if that ain't too much to ask."

"It's not... Mingyu, I... I love you so much..."
"I never stopped loving you Y/N."

I wish unconditionally that this will last, Y/P saved me this time, but if we broke up again... I really don't know how I will be able to survive the pain... please don't cry, I'm here now, I'll protect you. I don't want to cry anymore.

- End -