• Kpop stories •

Jung Sungchan

{ Impossible love }

Imagine,

You are next to your locker waiting for your friends while talking with one of them. You were laughing at your friend's joke when you felt two hands grip your hips. Then a body got close to your back and your stomach immediately started the storm of butterflies. You know who it is. It can be anyone but him.

Your friends smiled before you turned around to meet his eyes. They have nothing special for others, but for you, they are everything.
His eyes aren't the prettiest things on him. It's his smile. Even more when he laugh; his cheeks do in dimples and he show his teeth. It's so cute. You could watch him smile all day but one good thing is, he always smile with you. You hugged him tightly and he kissed the top of your head softly. You laughed out of awkwardness since you just spotted his friends waiting for him.

He caressed your cheeks and left with his friends. Yours were now all ready so you left with them too. While you were walking you were thinking about his hands on your hips.

But you know too well that's only in your dream...

You never understood why you were attracted to him. He isn't specially handsome or cute. He never been nice to you directly. You never talked to him more than «Thanks» after he passed you a sheet in school. Maybe it's because all of your friends tell you that you and him are cute together. You really don't know why, but you know there's something.

You also don't know why you keep hoping. All the odds are against you. His friends hate you and you hate them. After all of that, why are you still attracted to him? He have nothing to add in your life. You have the feeling that he will only bring problems, but at the same time peace.

Even if you try to convince yourself that nothing will ever happen between you, you can't help but daydream about him in your class. How his hugs would feel. The butterflies that would take your stomach when he would back hug you. How nice it would be to not be in war with his friends and then he would kiss you in front of them. But all of this is impossible.

There's no love in that one way relationship. It's probably just hope or the thought that someone unreachable could like you, but it's a pleasing thought. And your friends doesn't help. The way they encourage you to keep hoping without even knowing. You deeply wish that it could be real. Joking around about it all day is another thing that just made you regret even more your choices.

Why did I had to fall for him ..?

Every nights you spend hours thinking about him before finally falling asleep. Before bed, you see plenty of videos saying "it's your sign, he likes you" and all this things, probably fake, that still keep you going. You hate to have done that to yourself. To have fall for one of the playboys of the school. Why? Why him. There's literally nothing special about him!

The only thing is, he's really nice to you and your friends, differently than his friends. But without that he is like every other guy. And you're scared to tell your friends how you feel about him, because they will judge you. You judge yourself so why wouldn't they. But the other day you did the error to tell them.

They took it pretty well and kept saying that you would be « the cutest couple ever » but a problem also came with that. They could tell anyone... which is something you don't want to happen. What if he learns that you have a weird crush on him? That would be catastrophic.

You thought so until you were switched in his bus. The first thing you saw when you walked in this brand new bus, was him. Standing still in his bench alone with his AirPods in. The second thing you noticed was that there was no place in the bus else than with him. No. You categorically didn't want to go sit with him, but then the driver made you hurry up. "Just take a seat, it's not that hard!"

So you walked to him with an awkward walk. Since he has his AirPods in he couldn't hear you so had to tap his shoulder to get his attention. "Hey... hum there's no place in the bus, can I sit with you?" You asked awkwardly. "Yeah of cours you can." He putted is earphones back in and you did the same as you take the last place. Then the first thing you've done was to write to your friends on how of a nightmare it was.

You were scared that he could read on your phone, but look you didn't mentioned that he was your crush in the message so he shouldn't know. And since your friends were probably occupied, they didn't replied right away and it is why you closed your phone and started sleeping lightly.

You don't know how much time after, someone woke you up by saying your name. "Y/N." He said one last and definite time before you woke up. "Sorry, it's my house I have to go..." and it's at that moment that you realized that you fell asleep on his shoulder. You excused yourself right away and let him go before dying of awkwardness in your bench after.

One look at your phone and you realized the bunch of messages that your friends sent you since you fell asleep. You really hope he didn't see one of their messages, because they clearly announce the crush you have on him. If they only knew, what just happened. You took your head on your hands and blushed. He let you sleep, which was really nice of him. You smiled to yourself before letting your friends know.

After that moment, you lived on a little cloud, romanticizing everything he could do. You dropped your pencil and he gave it to you? Well that must mean something, doesn't it? He kept the door open for you, well that's surely a special attention to you! This romanticized life was really nice until you start to get courageous about it. "Should I ask him on a date?" You asked your friends. Of cours their answer were yes.

That's when you got up after class and walked to him. He was with one of his closest friend, but you didn't mind, it was now or never. After the words came out of your mouth you realized how crazy it was. "Would you like to go on a date maybe?" They were now tattooed on your tongue forever.

But that's wasn't the worst thing. The worst was the face his friend made. Half of a laugh and half of pity. He knew that you were getting rejected, but you didn't understand right away. He himself had to say it. There was still hope.
"I'm sorry Y/N, but I don't think that our energies match..." that was clearly only an excuse to not hurt you. You nodded and smiled. "It's completely okay don't worry." You reassured him.

But when you turned around, you felt the tears coming down of your eyes. You felt your heart bleeding. You even felt your brain took a pause. What did just happened?

It was now a scar, a deep one. He hurt you, more than he could ever imagine. Waking up was now the hardest thing ever. You have lost your bright smile that you usually had. All this are not important next to the pain you feel each time he walked by you and you try to hide how deeply hurt you are.

Even your friends can't do something about it. It is what is his, pain. It is... what... it is...

- End -