The Fire Inside Her [UNEDITED]

Kabanata 11

Kabanata 11

I once told my self that, what if I'm gonna share to him what's really the problem I burden? That what if I let him know how I always get scared in something?

Pero kung tuluyan na nga niyang malaman, kaya nga ba niya itong tanggapin? I always think at my self that I'm a curse. I always think that I'm a disgusted bitch because of what happened.

Hindi ko ito matanggap pero ano pa bang magagawa ko kung wala namang magbabago? It's been four years but it's still fresh in my mind. That everytime I'm in a dark place, I always get frighten as I remember what happened.

I need to get used to it but how? How can I do that if it's too hard to forget?

"You don't have to do that, Ven." I softly said after he said those words with finality and conviction on his voice.

Kinabahan ako sa sinabi niya lalo na sa ginawa niyang pagbanta kay Lornan sa condo. Why did that guy has the guts to face me again anyway? I clear things everything to him so why? He's just too.. creepy.

"I'm sorry to say this but I can't. I won't let this slip off my hand, Hanna."

Tanging pagbuntong hininga nalang ang nagawa ko at pinisil ang kamay niyang hawak ko. Even though I want to pull back my hand, I can't. Mahigpit ang hawak niya dito na para bang ayaw niya itong pakawalan. 

"Then let's stop talking about that." I negotiate. "let's talk about the event for tonight."

Napasulyap siya sa akin saglit kapagkuwan ay binalik ang tingin sa daan.

"You nervous?"

I sighed as I shook my head but then nodded. Sa huli ay muli akong napabuntong hininga at sumandal sa kinauupuan.

"I don't know. Kinakabahan ako pero nae-excite din. I can't help thinking the what if's in my mind."

"Then don't think about it." He chuckled and pinch my hand. "I'm here, okay? I'll support you no matter what."

I sighed contently and nodded. "Thank you, Steven. For staying here beside me."

"It's the least I could do for you, Hanna."

Hindi na ulit ako nakapagsalita at napiling tumingin nalang sa labas ng bintana. I was humming in my mind habang pinapakiramdaman ang marahan niyang haplos sa kamay kong hawak niya.

Soon, Ven. I'll tell you the reason why I'm always frighten in darkness.

Maliban sa sarili ko, walang nakakaalam ng totoong problema ko. I keep it in my self for almost four years. Na kahit ang mga magulang ko ay hindi ko pinagsabihan dahil sa trauma na natamo ko na ayaw ko na itong balikan pa.

I know I can trust my friend. I know they can understand me but the problem is, I can't let them burden my problem. Bawat isa sa amin ay may problema at ayokong dagdagan pa ang problema ng mga kaibigan ko.

Maybe I can say that to this guy beside me. I want him to know but I admit I'm afraid if what would be his reaction. But, why not try it? He's been good to me all this time.

"Where here." Ang malaki at buo niyang boses ang nagpabalik sa naglalakbay kong diwa dahilan para mapatingin ako sa labas. 

Where in the parking lot of the company and even though the parking lot is full of lights, the eerie feeling of this quite place made me shivered.

"Let's go, Hanna."

I blinked enumerably times when I saw that the engine of the car is now off. Steven is now looking at me confusedly with his worried face. Kaya naman ngumiti ako sa kanya at tumango.