The Fire Inside Her [UNEDITED]

Kabanata 12

Kabanata 12

"Due to over fatigue, stress and shock, that was the reason why he lost his consciousness. It's his second time and I'm sorry to say this but, if he lost his consciousness in a third time, it might be critical."

That was the words that I can't forget when I'm in the hospital with my Mom. Waiting for the result of my Dad's condition and the reality slapped me.

Fatigue. Stress. Shock.

The two of those is my fault. I admit that. I know he's stress in the company pero dinagdagan ko pa ito. And that shock? I'm one hundred percent sure that it was my fault because of the modeling I took.

Steven called me when I was in the hospital for my Dad's condition. He's worried, that's what he said. Kung hindi lang siya tumawag sa akin, hindi ko rin siguro maaalala ang sinabi niya sa akin sa backstage. 

I'm happy when he said that. I really am. But because of my situation right now, I can't be happy knowing that he will court me.

"Take care of yourself. Don't be stress and remember that your Dad can surpass it, okay? I'm just here, Hanna. I'll wait for you."

That's what exactly he said to me after he cut his line. Kahit papaano ay alam kong may mga tao ding nag-aalala sa sitwasyon ko ngayon.

"Hija? Kumain na raw kayo."

Ang marahan na katok sa pinto ko at ang boses ni Nanay Rosita ang nagpagising sa naglalakbay kong diwa. For the meantime, I stayed in the house for peace.

Gusto ko munang mapag-isa ngayon dahil masyado akong naguguluhan sa naging desisyon ko. Na pakiramdam ko nama'y tama pero masyadong malaki ang pagkakamali.

Dad is still in the hospital that's why Mom handle the company for a while. Minsan napapaisip ako, gusto ko lang naman na maging proud sila sa akin pero bakit puro problema lang ang naibibigay ko sa kanila? Gusto ko lang naman na abutin ang pangarap ko pero bakit ito mismo ang nagiging dahilan para ayawan ko?

"Hija? Kumain na raw kayo sabi ni madam. Gising kana ba?" Ulit ni Nanay Rosita sa labas ng kwarto ko.

"Susunod nalang po ako!" I response so that she would know that I'm now awake.

"Sige, sumunod kana lang at kakain na.  Maya-maya ay aalis na din ang Mommy mo."

I just hummed for response before I heard her steps away from my room. Napabuntong hininga nalang ako bago tumihaya ng higa at tumitig sa kawalan.

I planned to visit Dad right now before I'll go in my condo unit. Wala naman akong ibang gagawin dahil vacation naman ngayon kaya siguro ay babantayan ko nalang muna si Dad sa hospital.

For the ninth time, I sighed heavily. Remembering everything happened last night was a blast. Kung kahapon desidido na talaga ako sa gusto kong gawin, ngayon parang nagdadalawang isip na ako.

My Dad was in the hospital because of me. Because of my sudden decision. Kung hindi ko ba yun ginawa, hindi ba siya mahihimatay sa pangalawang pagkakataon? Hindi ko gustong paabutin pa 'yon sa pangatlong beses kaya hangga't maaga pa, kailangan ko na itong itigil.

"I'm sorry Steven." I whispered in the air as a lone tear escape my eyes that I immediately wipe.

Kinapa ko ang cellphone sa side table bago binuksan pero napangiwi din nang makitang lowbat ito. I heaved a deep sighed before I put it back in the side table.

Muli akong nagtalukbong ng kumot at patalikod na humiga sa pintuan. Na sakto namang bumukas pero hinayaan ko lang dahil alam kong si Nanay Rosita lang ito at pinapapunta na ako sa kusina para kumain.