The Fire Inside Her [UNEDITED]

Kabanata 30

Kabanata 30

A faint voices from everywhere made me woke up. I tried to open my eyes and at first, it was all blurry ti'll I saw the familiar white ceiling. Ang pamilyar na amoy ng mga gamot ay isa sa patunay na nandito ako sa isang hospital.

I took a deep breath and tried to move but I just groaned in pain when I felt the pain in my waist.

"Don't move, Hanna."

Mabilis akong napalingon sa nagsalita at nakahinga ng maluwag nang makitang si Mommy ito na bakas ang pag-aalala sa mukha. 

My forehead creased while remembering what happened. Biglang nagtagis ang bagang ko nang maalala kung sino ang tarantadong pasimuno ng lahat ng ito.

"Mom." I called Mom with my raspy voice and she immediately went beside me.

"Yes, honey?"

"It's Charles." I said in a matter of fact. Hindi ako nagkakamali sa nakita at alam kong hindi panaginip ang nangyari sa abandonadong bahay na yun.

The pain in my waist is a proof that it really happened. Mom sighed before she nodded and caress my hair.

"I know honey. We already know that he's the one.. who raped you."

I swallowed hard before I averted my gaze because I suddenly felt regret to the thought they I hide that to them.

"How?"

"Umamin siya." Huminga ng malalim ang Ina ko bago siya naupo sa tabi ng kama ko. "all of us didn't expect that he can do it."

"So am I." Muling nagtagis ang bagang ko nang maalala ulit ang katarantaduhang ginawa niya. "I trusted him. I treat him as my own brother but fvck it! He ruin it! He ruin everything about me Mom!"

"Calm down, sweetie." Mom voice was smooth but it didn't help me to stop crying.

Kung wala lang siguro ako sa hospital ngayon, baka kanina ko pa nasugod si Charles dahil sa mga kahayupan na ginawa niya sa akin.

"Because of him.. I seldom trust to guys. Because of him.. I had a t-truama. Because of him.. he ruin everything."

"It's not everything, Hanna." Mom immediately hug me to console me. "you still have your friends, your family and those people who love you so much. He didn't ruin it, get it? He can't ruin it."

"I'm sorry.." napahagulhol ako at mahigpit na niyakap ang ina ko. Hindi iniinda and sakit ng tagiliran dahil mas masakit ang puso ko ngayon. "I'm sorry if I h-hide it. I'm sorry, Mom. I'm sorry."

"It's okay. Shhh, stop crying hija." She kissed my head. "I understand, we understand. Isa pa, tinago ko rin naman sayo ang pagiging modelo ko noon diba? Then it's even. So please, stop crying."

"But still.. I'm sorry." I sniffed. "I'm just so scared that if you'll know about it, you feel disgusted to me."

"Oh, silly." Mon tsk-ed. "alam mo kung ano ang naging reaksyon ko kanina? When he admitted that he raped you, I was shock but I don't feel disgusted. Kahit katiting, wala akong naramdamang pandidiri. Instead, I feel proud that you overcome it and fought hard of your fears. I feel proud knowing that my daughter can endure the pain she felt before. That's bravery, hija. Kahit kailan, kahit ano pa ang nangyari sayo, palagi mong tandaan na nandito lang ako. I'm your Mom, alright? I can be your listener too."

Mas lalo akong napaiyak sa sinabi niya at sinubsob ang mukha ko sa kanyang dibdib. Gusto ko mang mapa-igik sa sakit dahil sa sugat ko ay ayoko namang mag-alala ang ina ko.

"Shh. Calm down. You fought enough, Hanna. Now, you need to get rest." She softly said and I nodded my head in response but my tears keep on flowing.