Commander, Soldier, Spy (Erwin X Reader)

Chapter 14: Evermore

Erwin watched as y/n left his office in disarray and his heart in tatters. He sank into his office chair sighing heavily his mind weary from discovering such a deep betrayal.

"Why? Why did I have to fall in love with her?" Erwin clenched his fist hitting his desk quietly with it.

He sat silently for a while just staring at the notebook on his desk. Her writing so pristine on its cover. He grabbed it and threw it into a desk drawer and closed it. He couldn't bring himself to see it anymore.

He rose from his seat and went to the bathroom to retrieve a wash cloth to clean up the tea. The cloth slowly soaked up the remaining tea but when Erwin lifted it a puddle shaped stain still remained from where it once was.

He scrubbed at it furiously but it was no good. It had washed off the wood stain leaving a permenant mark. Erwin turned away and looked out the window resting his hip against the window sill.

"Y/n? Commander? It's almost time for dinner will you be joining us?" Hange sung happily as they battled through the door only to stop in their tracks seeing Erwin stood staring out the window.

"Where's y/n?" They asked curiously

"Miss y/n, won't be coming back. I'll spare you the details but she wasn't to be trusted. I won't be having dinner tonight. I have too much work to do here." Erwin said coldly.

"But- I was planning on showing y/n my new discovery..." Hange replied sadly. "Can't you two just work out your lovers spat over dinner?"

"We weren't lovers. We were acquaintances. Nothing more. Now please Hange, go bother someone else, I'm busy." Erwin turned glaring at them.

"Alright, alright, I get the message. I'm going." Hange said sounding hurt and leaving to go find Levi.

Erwin cursed himself. He told himself just needed to forget about her and everything would go back to how it was before, as if she had never existed.

But no matter how many times he told himself this he still caught himself wishing she'd walk in through the office door.

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The following weeks were particularly hard for Erwin. Levi barely spoke to him whether it was because he felt guilty for allowing y/n to hurt Erwin or whether he was angry at him for ignoring his warnings. And Hange, tended to steer clear of his office after their minor altercation.

As always Erwin threw himself into his work but in his mind a thousand thoughts remained scattered.

'If it wasn't for that damned bitch maybe I'd still have my arm. I can't afford to waste anymore time or lives getting distracted.' He thought to himself. His blood boiled at the thought of how he had smiled so broadly when returning from missions whilst the cart overflowing with the corpses of his comrades followed behind. It was all her fault.

'I've blamed myself for long enough, it's time to stop pretending like she ever truly cared for me. She was nothing but a liar who used other people's kindness to her own advantage. Never again will I let myself be fooled so easily." Erwin had begun to talk out loud to himself again.

Levi leaned against the wall outside his office. 'Seems like he's finally back to his old-man-self. Thank fuck.' He thought to himself before moving to open the door.

"So you're finally over that damned bitch it seems." He said as he entered walking over to his usual spot at the table.

Erwin turned to the door hearing Levi's comment as he entered. His eyebrows furrowed hearing someone talk so badly about y/n. He tried remind himself that he was also bad mouthing her moments before but he couldn't help but feel that Levi had no right to talk about her in such a way. After all, he wasn't the one who had been deceived.

"Levi. I'd appreciate if you kept your thoughts about her to yourself." He spoke trying to calm down.

"What? Does the truth hurt too much? Face it Erwin, she fooled you. You were bested by a journalist." Levi sneered.

Erwin saw red. His nostrils flared as he flew into an almighty rage.

"HOW DARE YOU!" In a flash Erwin was across the room and shoved Levi up against the wall pinning him unsing his forearm and holding it just beneath Levi's throat.

Levi was having none of it and swiftly swung his knee into Erwin's groin causing him to stumble backwards.

"Tch. Pathetic. I'm surprised you've still got any balls left after she practically castrated you." Levi sat down in the chair unfazed by the altercation.

"Damn Levi, you didn't have to do it so hard." Erwin sighed straitening up from his doubled over position.

"Had to knock some sense into you somehow. Forget her, we have more important things to worry about. Like Jaeger." Levi rolled his eyes.

"Yes. Of course. Fill me in Captain."
Erwin walked to his desk and sat down ready to listen to what Levi had to say.

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I had enjoyed my time off in Marley, relaxing and spending time with my family whom I had not seen for almost a year. My father embraced me tightly and my mother and grandmother prepared a large meal to celebrate my return to the house. Of course I couldn't disclose anything about my time there. Only that I was tasked with working to expose military plans whilst being under the guise of a journalist.

After a week or so Zeke turned up at my door and informed me that I had to return to HQ for more training and meetings to discuss my findings. The time I had been dreading had arrived. I wasn't sure how I was going to worm my way out of this mess but all I knew was that I wanted to return to Paradis. Even if just for a couple of days to see what chaos I'd left behind there and potentially check on Erwin.

I waved goodbye to my parents and went with Zeke back to the shitty dorms that smelled of dust and regret.