Commander, Soldier, Spy (Erwin X Reader)

Chapter 34- From the Dining Table

He lay shirtless among the blankets. His face flushed red with alcohol, his skin sticky with sweat. His chest rose and fell with each inhale and exhale and his fingers twitched slightly in his sleep. The wind slammed against the window causing his cat to startle from her resting position at the foot of the bed.

"Mraow?"

"Hm?" He rubbed his eyes. "What is it Maggie? It's okay the wind can't hurt you." Stefan sat up and raked a shaky hand through his hair. His fingers catching on the knots and tangles nestled in his curly locks.

He petted Maggie reassuringly before turning to the nightstand and picking up the cup that sat on it. He brought the cup to his lips and tipped back his head.

Not a single drop left. He groaned and swung his legs over the side of the bed getting up and walking over to his bag pulling out some clothes and putting them on. He sniffed at his shirt recoiling at it's smell but still putting it on.

Stefan began his post round as usual he dragged his feet through the streets handing people their mail without so much as a hello. Most people had noticed the change but didn't dare ask what had happened for fear of making him even less approachable.

The bell on the door jingled as Stefan entered the printers.

Stefan handed the post to Roy.

"Has she been by here yet?" He asked.

"Listen Stefan, she doesn't work here anymore. You're probably the one who saw her last. But I'm sure she's fine and if you think somethings wrong why don't you stop by her house?"

"Thanks....but...no thanks." Stefan turned and left his posture slouched. Leaving the printers he walked past Scout HQ seeing the Commander with his back to him talking to a guard on the gate.

Stefan glared daggers into his back and feeling someone's eyes on him Erwin turned his head pausing mid-conversation.

"Ah! Stefan was it? Anything for me today?" He asked cheerfully turning fully to face him.

"No." Stefan replied bluntly, not bothering to check his bag, his voice laced with venom.

Erwin frowned slightly. "Okay. Well thanks anyway I suppose."

Stefan stalked off stopping by a nearby shop to purchase another bottle of liquor.

Today was the day. It had to be. He couldn't delay it any further.

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Stefan approached y/n's house cautiously his post bag slung over his left shoulder. His hand clenched, he reached the door and raised his hand to knock. Faint laughter and the sound of crunching footsteps behind him stopped him in his tracks. Slipping down the side of the house he pressed his back against the wall holding his breath.

Approaching the house were y/n and Erwin arm in arm. Stefan felt his heart drop.
"That's why that bastard was so happy earlier." He thought to himself pouring more of the bitter liquid past his lips and into his mouth.

Y/n sniffed the air coughing a little.
"Something must have expired. It smells awful around here." The door to her home creaked open and they both entered, the door closing behind them.

Stefan sniffed at his shirt again. She was right. Something had expired. Him. He reeked of stale beer and sweat. Spending most of his time passed out sprawled over a table in the local bar left him very little time to take care of his personal hygiene. Besides, he didn't have anyone to impress so why should he care. As far as he was concerned he was just passing the time until time was up.

"...I'm just passing the time." Y/n's harsh words wandered across his mind again. His eyes welling with tears he pressed his fists into them until they ached. She didn't deserve his tears. She didn't deserve his heartbreak.

Stefan knew that it was never his fault. And yet in his heart he still felt like a part of him was missing. Alcohol had been a way to fill the void but even that didn't cut it lately.

Maybe he could find something else to fill the cracks in his broken heart, even if it was just temporary. He was sure that he could find some lonely stranger willing to spend a few hours with him. He walked solemnly away from the house seeking out the nearest inn.

"How can someone be so kind and yet so cruel at the same time?" He asked himself. He feet dragged through the dirt and stones along the path. He wanted things to go back to how they were before they became more than friends. He just wasn't sure there was any way he could make that happen.