Just The Truth, No lies (Oumasai)

Chapter 14: A Nightmare and an Old Mindset

Kokichi Ouma POV

I woke up in a cold sweat, I looked around the room for reassurance of safety.

I took a deep breath and recalled my dream.

More like a nightmare.

...

I walked into the cafeteria, the place we host our group therapy sessions.

As if it were instant, whenever it came to my turn to talk, everyone's eyes were on me. Their ears were open, I could see their hairs standing up.

Do I anger them so much?

Is my whole existence hated to the point no one can stand me?

I began to sink into the ground as if my thought were heavyweight.
Suddenly, I stopped sinking so I looked around to see white figures which looked like my classmates.

One by one, each of them had something nasty to say about me.

"You're a dick, Kokichi. No one can forgive you after what you've done."

"Out of all of the people I had to face in prison, none can compare to your sanity and evilness."

"No good male, I knew you weren't any good from the start."

"Playing dumb now? Think about why I planned on killing you."

"As an assassin, it would have been a piece of cake to eliminate you. Be grateful he saved your ass."

"My encouraging speeches never got to you, huh? Maybe because you are a no-good monster and you know it."

"Gentleman... Shouldn't lie nor be mean!"

Gonta... Why can't I accept the fact he has forgiven me.

"You are nothing but a nasty liar who hurt others without feeling a thing! You monster..."

Tsumugi... Can't feel anything but hurt too.

"Kokichi is trying to reach out to us, in his special way... We shouldn't be the ones to give him bad names. He is a good person, I believe so."

Shuichi... A liar knows liars.

You are one of the least people I want to see forgiving me.
Silly crushes only pull me down.
...

Could this be everyone thought speaking out to me?

Never have believed in that kind of shit, but wouldn't be surprised if this is how they think of me.

A living, lying monster.

All I do is lie, that's the only protection and guards I have up, trust will knock it down in an instant.

That's why... I don't want to get too close to anyone.

Even if I have made a friend not so long ago, I can't get too close.

I'll get attached and it will be a disaster.

Not only that, it would be my weak spot.

I, Kokichi Ouma am not weak and should not be pitied. If I have to become the monster they expect me to be, I will.

Back to hell again.

I took another deep sigh and laid back in bed, thinking the same question., alternating it, and even trying to put myself in their position.

Is it really that hard to forgive me?

Is it hard to see things my way?

Am I the only one?