Mirror of Perfection (hisollumi story)

Chapter 48 - Hold his hand

Hisoka's Pov:

Hes gonna kill himself. Gon and Killua came to the same realization, however, they both passed out. I tried waking them but they won't get up. But I got an idea. Illumi turned location off to our phones, but left his computer. I can check his location. I prefer Killua and Gon to stay passed out, scared of what I could find. I check. His phone is at a strange house, really far away. Almost all the way downtown, in a poor part of town. I get in my car and start to drive. I drive for what feels like hours, but really it was only maybe 30 minutes or less. 

I see the house, its small, old, abandoned and breaking. I go up to it, the front door is unlocked. I go in and enter a kitchen. Theres almost nothing there. Its pretty empty. I go further in, and see his phone on what I think would be a dining or living room. Its smashed, but working slightly.

I look around more, its small and theres no upstairs. I go into what was a nursery. It has baby blue walls and some baby toys are left on the floor. I leave this room and go into another bedroom. Its also small, but has tan walls instead of blue, and it has an old lamp still in here. Theres a closed door. Seems to be the only bathroom in the house. I open the door, theres a smashed mirror. All the pieces are on the floor. Its a small bathroom. I look over to the left where a bathtub is, the curtain is closed. I pull the curtain open and fall back onto the glass. I start to cry. I try to get back up, but I'm shaking and I can't. I move closer to the bath to see if I saw correctly.

Illumi's limp body is in the bathtub. Its filled to the brim with bloody water. A piece of broken glass is lodged in his wrist. His eyes are closed and his hair surroundes him. He looks so peaceful, almost better then I've ever seen him. My hands shake. I reach into the water and touch his face. His body is cold, but hes still soft. I take his hand and squeeze it. Hes gone and its my fault. I didn't get here in time. What have I done?

I look at the shard of glass on floor. I bend down, shakily picking it up, its drenched in his blood, i start to cry. I want to be with him. I wanted to be with him my whole life and he took his own life. He took his life out of this world. I still want to be with him. I want to stay with him forever. I took at the shard of glass, covered in his blood. Hes mine and I am his. Forever. I push it into my wrist then slowly pull i back out. I drop it into my lap.

 The pain isn't as bad as the one I felt when I saw him. I whisper "My darling lulu, I want to be with you, now and forever." I hold his hand as it all fades away. I hold his limp hand, until mine matches his.