decoding the boys ✔️

16 - ask me || edited, uncut ver

I felt shitty for what I said. I wasn't used to talking to people like that.

And even worse, the questions inside my head were left unanswered.

Ahron consoled me na tama naman ang ginawa ko. Na dapat lang putulin ko kung ano man ang pwedeng mag-start between us, be friendship or something else, simply because it wasn't right. My reason must have looked so petty, childish more like, but I couldn't help it.

Still, I knew I was too harsh. Tulad nga ng sabi niya, he had to do it. That meant my brother did something, too, which also meant I was out of line kanina.

I should've asked for his reason. Hindi ko dapat pinairal ang pride ko.

Ginulo ko ang buhok ko out of frustration, muttering curses to myself.

I didn't like having confusing feelings. This, this wasn't me. I was usually composed and confident about everything, especially about matters related to guys. That was my turf, my forte. I usually know what to do. But now?

I was so confused. About my own feelings.

Lalo na kapag naaalala ko yung expression ni Racel kanina. He looked disappointed, and I wasn't sure if it was just my imagination pero I also caught a tiny flicker of hurt in his eyes. Mabilis lang 'yon but I saw it. Kung pride issue man 'yon or what, it didn't matter. I ended up feeling guilty about it all the same.

I really shouldn't be feeling this way.

It was obviously the best choice for the both of us. He'd be safe from the boys and I'd safe from any issues. Win-win, so I had no reason to feel anything except relief.

A cold can pressed against my cheeks, pulling me out of my stupor.

Paglingon ko, it was Angelo's cool dimpled smile that immediately greeted me.

"Penny for your thoughts?" He threw me the can of soda, which I caught easily, as he stepped onto the deck of the wooden swing and sat beside me.

My gaze lingered on him for a full minute. Mukha siyang fresh out of the shower dahil mamasa-masa pa ang buhok niya. Bagay sa kanya ang damp, wavy hair look. Kinda gave him a refreshing air. Even that simple brown sweater he was wearing.

"Why aren't you with your friends?"

Nasa field pa kasi ang iba, mga nag-ja-jam. Even from where we were, naririnig ko yung pagtugtog ng gitara at pagkanta ng ibang mga estudyante. On normal occasions, I would've joined them. Lalo na at hilig ko 'yan. But not today. I wasn't in the mood for it.

And I was avoiding him too.

I frowned at the thought. Here I go again, thinking about him again.

"Napansin ko kasing you were missing e," sagot ni Angelo, once again breaking my train of thoughts. He leaned back against the wooden swing.

I didn't respond. Binuksan ko lang yung Coke na bigay niya at ininom 'yon.

I sighed.

"Everything okay?"Angelo said, his voice taking a curious and concerned lilt.

Truth was, bothered pa rin ako sa nangyari kanina, pero having someone with me right now, like this, helped ease my worries away kahit papano. Or was it just this guy's effect in general?

Angelo had this aura kasi―na just by looking at him, you'd feel like smiling yourself. You'd feel as though you're one step ahead of your problems. His sunny and cool disposition was really just too contagious that even a worrywart would feel better with him around.

"I'm good," sabi ko na lang just to end the topic. I didn't feel like explaining anything at the moment.

"Oh? You look like shit though."