decoding the boys ✔️

finale

Last night, I had a dream. It was about Kuya Jacob, a much younger version of him back when we were in second grade. It was a memory more than it was a dream, really, and it was as vivid as if it happened just yesterday.

There was this boy who had a crush on me. We were being teased by our classmates and Kuya wasn't cool with it because I wasn't. Kasi naman, after confessing that he liked me, this boy, Mike, kissed me on the cheeks. My normal reaction was to be repulsed. Buti na lang hindi sa lips. Pero kahit naman sa lips pa 'yon, he wouldn't be my first. That would be Kuya Onyx's fault dahil siya yata ang first kiss ko. Or at least, that's what he said. Hindi ko masiguro dahil bata pa naman ako no'n at mahirap din paniwalaan dahil puro kalokohan naman 'tong si Kuya.

Anyway, after Mike kissed my cheek, I cried and ran away. Why I did that, I had no idea. I ran to my brother and cried my heart out. The next day, pinatawag ang parents namin dahil sinuntok pala sa mukha ni Kuya Jacob si Mike. Mike didn't bother me after that and si Kuya Jacob, he became my guard slash partner-in-crime. The habit stayed even until now.

Nang sinuntok ni Kuya si Racel, parang tumigil ang mundo ko. It's only been a month since the last fight with Gian and Mathev. Kagagaling lang halos ng mukha niya and now, my brother was rearranging his face again.

Everything happened so fast. Dahil sa kalalaro ng PS4 buong hapon, maagang natulog si Kuya Jacob. Wala ang ibang mga kapatid ko dahil umuwi sa condo niya si Kuya Andrei at nasa Ilocos naman sina Kuya Chris at Kuya Travis. Kaming dalawa lang ang nasa bahay.

Patulog na rin ako nang sinabihan ako ni manang na may tumatawag daw sa 'kin sa gate. Mukhang lasing daw at nagmamakaawang pansinin ko siya.

Kinutuban na ako kaya nagmamadali akong bumaba para silipin kung ano ang nangyayari-and sure enough, Racel was there. He was drunk and pounding on our gate as he called for my name, over and over and over.

I became frantic. Bukod sa ayokong makaistorbo ng kapitbahay, ano na lang ang mangyayari kung magigising si Kuya Jacob? I wasn't that thrilled to see him. I was starting to move on tapos ngayon, makikita ko na naman siya at babalik na naman ako sa simula?

But I had no choice. Either I stop him myself or my brother would stop him.

Hinarap ko si Racel at pinilit kong pauwiin pero ayaw nitong makinig. Pilit niya akong niyakap. Nagmamakaawa na pakinggan ko siya. He wasn't even asking for forgiveness, just that, sana daw mapakinggan ko siya.

Nagpupumiglas ako at 'yon ang inabutan na scenario ng kapatid ko. Kuya Jacob went livid. He was instantly onto him, hitting the living daylights out of Racel.

It took me, three of our househelpers, and our driver to stop Kuya Jacob from killing Racel. Okay na sana. Napakalma na sana si Kuya kaso nang tumayo si Racel at minura siya, lalo lang siyang na-provoke.

"Get the fuck out of my sight, Gutierez. Isa pang lapit mo sa kapatid ko baka mapatay na kita."

"Tangina. 'Wag kang makialam. Kasalanan n'yo kung bakit kami nagkaganito!"

Nagpanting ang tainga ko sa narinig ko. Aakmang susugod si Kuya pero hinatak ko ang braso niya.

"What the fuck are you saying? Kasalanan n'yo kung bakit tayo nasira. You cheated on me!" Uminit ang mga tainga ko sa sobrang inis.

"I didn't want to! God, I didn't want to! Iniwasan ko ang babaeng 'yon pero lapit pa rin nang lapit. She fucking blackmailed me!" desperado niyang sinabi. Kitang-kita ko ang pagrehistro ng sakit at takot sa mga mukha niya. He was evidently drunk, in pain or alcohol, I couldn't tell. Nasasaktan ako na nakikita ko siyang ganito, na ginaganito namin ang isa't isa, na dito kami nauwi matapos ang lahat.