decoding the boys ✔️

71 - Grim Reaper || unedited / unrevised

Kinagabihan, pinuntahan ako ni Racel sa bahay. Ayoko sanang lumabas dahil masama pa ang loob ko pero naisip ko kasi na baka emergency naman pala ang pinuntahan niya. Sa tuwing naiisip ko 'yon, tinutuligsa ako ng guilt ko.

I went out and met him outside. Good thing wala ang mga kapatid ko kaya mas may privacy kami.

"Baby, I'm sorry. Hindi ko akalain na matatagalan ako. I wanted to text you but my phone died on me. And when I finally charged it, saktong tumatawag ka. Hindi lang kita nakausap nang maayos dahil may kailangan ulit akong asikasuhin."

I raised a hand to stop him.

"You said it wasn't an emergency."

"It wasn't."

"Then what was it?"

Natigilan siya na parang pinag-iisipan kung ano ang isasagot sa 'kin. He took a deep breath, obviously distressed.

I grew frustrated.

"Kung pamilya naman 'yan, maiintindihan ko. Bakit ba hindi mo masabi sa 'kin? Ano bang tinatago mo? Why are you so distant? Did you suddenly realize you don't love me anymore? Gano'n ba 'yon?" Kumunot ang noo ko.

"No," mabilis niyang sabi. "You know how much I love you."

"Then what? May problema ba? I can handle it. Try me. Kahit ano pa 'yan. Share it with me. We promised not to keep secrets."

He drew another deep breath and moved closer to me, clasping my hands into his as if pleading me to understand. "There are things I can't tell you right now. But give me time and I will. Please. Trust me. Mahal kita. 'Yon ang totoo."

Pagod na ako. Ayoko na ng away at ayoko nang umiyak nang umiyak. I could accept this. Kung hindi siya handang sabihin sa 'kin 'to, hahayaan ko na lang. Tanga na kung tanga. Tutal naman lagi siyang naghihintay sa 'kin. I should just wait for him, too.

I thought that would be our last major fight, but it soon became the start of many. Minsan kung anu-ano na lang. Aaminin ko. Ako naman na rin ang may kasalanan. Sa tuwing nakikita kong kasama niya sa photos yung Natalia, naiinis ako at napagbubuntunan ko siya. Madalas naisasali niya si Angelo sa away namin kaya lalo pa kaming nag-aaway. Dahil talaga sa sikreto na tinatago niya kaya naging mailap na rin kami sa isa't isa. Whatever it was, it was breaking our relationship pero hindi ko naman siya mapilit na aminin kung ano 'yon.

A month after our last fight, we had another hiccup along the way. Wala na ngang kwenta, e. He went missing for a week. I thought busy lang siya sa acads but then I saw his photos na nasa bar siya kasama sina Natalia, Justin at Christelle. Nag-away na naman kami. It wasn't until Justin told me na hinatak lang nila si Racel that everything became clear to me. Nabanggit din niyang kaya pala busy si Racel dahil gumagawa ito ng designs. One of his designs was bought by a European architect. Gagawin 'tong bahay sa Southeast London. 'Yon pala ang dapat sorpresa niya sa 'kin kung 'di kami nag-away dahil sa kapraningan ko.

At this point, ilang araw na kaming hindi nag-uusap. Justin said he was preparing a surprise for me. Pero sa sobrang guilt na nararamdaman ko, hindi ko na nahintay 'yon. I decided to apologize again this time. I prepared a bento box for him dahil nabanggit nga ni Justin na i-me-meet daw ni Racel ang client niya mamayang hapon. I woke up early to make this. Kaya bandang alas sais, I was on my way to his condo.

A stab of deja vu hit me. Please. Sana hindi naman ito matulad nung last time. I knew his passcode so I entered without ringing the bell. Malamang tulog pa 'yon. I wanted to prepare breakfast for him din kasi sana.

But as I entered, I registered a couple of things that made the warning bells in my head ring wildly.

Sakto, pumasok ang text sa 'kin from unknown number.