decoding the boys ✔️

67 | come & go

I felt lighter and happier than I'd ever been. Wala na yung bigat na matagal kong tinago dahil sa naging closure namin ni Rohann. That part of me left with him when he went back to the States.

Napansin din ng dalawang kapatid ko yung mood ko kaya napilitan akong sabihin sa kanila ang ginawa ko. They were befuddled at first, naturally, but after a few explanations, naintindihan din naman nila bakit kinailangan kong gawin 'yon.

May napansin din pala ako kina Kuya Andrei at Kuya Jacob. Hindi na sila gano'n ka-overprotective sa 'kin. Mas naiintindihan na nila ang mga decisions ko at 'di na rin sila gaanong nakikialam. I guess they respected me now. Finally, adult na ang tingin nila sa 'kin. Kahit papaano, may maganda din palang outcome yung naging feud namin.

This Saturday noon, walang pasok si Kuya Jacob. Si Kuya Andrei rin but he left the house early dahil may swimming practice pa ito kasama ang team niya. It was a pretty chill and laidback weekend. Ang plano ko nga magma-marathon ako ng How To Get Away With Murder kaso naputol naman ang panonood ko nang biglang tumawag sa 'kin si Kuya Jacob sa phone.

That's right. Imbis na pumanhik at kausapin ako, tinawagan na lang ako ng tamad kong kapatid.

"Why? I'm watching. You're disturbing me."

"Watch later. Baba ka dito. Order mo 'ko ng Jollibee."

"What? Ikaw na lang. Order online. It works."

"Ayoko. Tinatamad ako. Dali na."

"Kuya naman." I pouted.

"Please? I'm craving for some champ. Dali, libre kita ng chicken joy. Yung bucket."

Nakakainis na matakaw din talaga ako. I was easily sold as soon as I heard the word libre.

"Fine. Let's see if you can afford my cravings."

Humalakhak siya. "Just fucking order, Javee. Bilisan mo. I'm starving."

"Fuck you," I said with a laugh, already going out of my room.

With light steps, I climbed down the stairs and went to the living room to dial the fastfood. Nasa gaming room ang kupal, no doubt naglalaro ng Xbox.

Nasa kalagitnaan ako ng pagbibigay ng order sa agent nang may tumatawag na naman ulit. Still my brother but this time he was video-calling me.

I pressed the accept button and his dumb face instantly went on screen.

I excused myself from the agent and said, "Ano na naman?"

"I forgot to say. Order mo 'ko ng sundae."

"You're really too much," I said, incredulous.

"Just order it. I need to make sure you fucking order it."

I could only smile at his antics. Hoshet. Ang weird din talaga ng kapatid kong 'to. "Fine," and proceeded to relay his order to the agent.

After dumating ng mga inorder namin, sabay kaming nag-dinner ni Kuya. Come to think of it, this was our first dinner alone na walang buffer. As in, kaming dalawa lang. I had mixed feelings about it. Okay naman na kasi kami ni Kuya pero parang may something pa rin. It wasn't that blatant pero may awkwardness pa rin? Hindi ko alam. Maybe it was just me.

Anyway, masaya na rin ako dahil nag-e-effort naman siya na ibalik ang dati namin na samahan. I appreciated it a lot, especially coming from a player who's only used to getting what he wants.

Oo nga pala. Speaking of another player, Angelo messaged me three days before Christmas. Ni hindi man lang nag-explain. It was just a simple, Happy Holidays, Jamie V. You've been missed. 'Yon lang. Nag-reply ako to tell him I missed him a lot pero tinawanan niya lang 'yon hanggang sa mauwi na sa iba ang usapan. Gano'n gano'n lang. We talked as if he didn't ghost me for weeks. As if I wasn't under the mercy of my torturous thoughts for weeks.