decoding the boys ✔️

50 | brother

After class, sumabay ako kay Lhyle pauwi. It's time to tell him na. Siya na lang kasi ang 'di nakakaalam dahil alam na rin ng girls kung ano ba talaga ang nangyayari.

I shifted in my seat and bit my lip. Sobrang lamig ng palad ko. Nilingon ko si Lhyle na abala sa pagmamaneho. I opened my mouth to start but no words would come out.

Hoshet.

Kinakabahan ako.

I sighed and looked away to get my bearings. Paano ba ako magsisimula? Alam kong hindi niya magugustuhan ang sasabihin ko but I had to brave this out. Kumbaga, siya pa lang iyan. Kung hindi ko siya kakayanin, paano na lang kung kina Kuya Jacob na? I had to do this right.

Biglang tumawa si Lhyle. Napalingon ako sa kanya in surprise. He reached for the music system in his car and turned it off. Tapos, natatawa siyang bumaling sa 'kin.

"Ano ba 'yon? Magsalita ka na."

My mouth almost hung, buti I caught myself right away. I creased my forehead in confusion.

"You're too obvious, Javee. C'mon, just spill it out."

That snapped me back to reality. Okay. This guy is my bestfriend. No point in dilly-dallying. Heto na oh! He was giving me the cue na. All I had to do was force the words out of my mouth.

I took a deep breath and braced myself.

"I'm sorry, bes, but I'm dating Racel," I said in one go, unable to look at him.

Imbis na si Lhyle ang magulat, ako pa ang nagulat sa reaction niya.

"Yeah, and then?" He looked surprisingly calm and solemn as if he expected that.

I blinked, getting more confused.

Lhyle turned back to the road muna. His eyes stayed there as he said without any tone in his voice, "I mean to say, alam ko. Alam ko na."

I blinked. "Alam mo na?"

"Yeah. Matagal na."

"The girls told you?"

"Nah. I had a hunch when I saw you nung pasukan. I realized it then." The laughter on his face was gone now, replaced by a much sullen mood.

He pursed his lips tight. I played with my fingers. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang tumatakbo sa isip niya ngayon. I knew he wasn't cool with this after that stunt he pulled last time. Ayokong isipin niya na binalewala ko siya at ang mga warnings niya.

"I'm sorry, bes." I bit my lip again. Ito na lang ang tanging nasabi ko. Lame but what else was there to say?

Surprisingly, Lhyle responded with,

"Don't say that. Don't say sorry for what you feel the same way I'll never apologize for mine."

Then he tore his eyes off the road to look back at me.

"Mahal mo siya, 'di ba?"

Tumango ako. He nodded as well and cut his eyes back to the road.

"Sabi na, e. Nakita ko na 'yan matapos ko kayong mahuli. I saw how hurt you were at ayoko nang maulit 'yon. Ayokong ako ang maging dahilan ulit non. That's why I'll accept this relationship. Kung sinabi mong hindi ka niya ginagamit lang, then I'll believe you. I trust you. But I'm worried as fuck, Javee. Pa'no si Jacob? Darating ang panahon na baka kailangan mong pumili sa kanila."

Yumuko ako at tinitigan ang kamay kong nakapatong sa mga hita ko. I fiddled with my ring. Yung niregalo sa 'kin ni Kuya nung 16th birthday ko.

"Kailangan ko bang pumili?" I said in a quiet voice. I looked back to Lhyle. "Kung kaya mong tanggapin, I'm hoping na pati si Kuya ay ganyan. Kung hindi, tatanggapin ko na lang yung galit niya."