Scars of the Past ✓

Simula

Hashi Cadezala Morales

Roseanne Adira Demeza

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My hands were already shaking as I let go of the gun I was holding. I grasped tightly on my handkerchief as I made my way to the back door of our house, carrying a heavy heart that was full of terror.

I've never expected that my life will turn out like this. I never wanted to be away from my mother but I needed to do this. If she won't understand and give me the trust that I needed, then I will just go away from them. I am sick tired of this. I understood the situation and adjusted, but little did I know, it will only drag me to the darkest and traumatic thing that I have ever experienced in my whole life.

I am the victim here and I can't endure what's happening to me any longer.

Agad akong tumakbo palabas sa likod ng bahay at dali-daling nilakad-takbo ang daan papunta sa pinakamalapit na kalsada sa amin.

Pinilit kong huwag palakasin ang mga hikbing kumakawala sa aking bibig pero sadyang hindi ko mapigilan iyon sa sobrang bigat nang dinadala ng puso ko ngayon.

After months of suffering in that god damn house, I finally escaped from it. Totally escaped from the one and only heartless demon I have ever beared to live with in these past few years.

Sa nanginginig na kamay ay inalis ko ang sim ng sariling phone at itinapon sa basurahan ng kalye dahil alam kong sasabog lamang ang telepono ko ng mga mensahe mula sa mga kakilala at kay Mama.

Pinalis ko ang mga bumabagsak na luha mula sa aking mga mata. Ni hindi ko na nilingon pa ang pinagmulan kong bahay sa takot na makitang muli ang demonyo at habulin ako. Pinara ko ang isang taxi bago sinabi rito ang lugar kung saan ko nais magpahatid.

Mukhang nagtataka pa ang driver sa itsura ko ngayon pero hindi na ako nito pinakielaman pa at pinaandar na lamang ang sasakyan.

I bit my lip and clasped both of my hands that are still shaking. I suddenly thought of him in the midst of my situation. I needed him right now but I know he's not even thinking about me at this hour. I tried calling him before but to no avail.

My chest clenched even more. So after what we have shared together throughout this year, he will just treat me like this? Hindi niya ako bibigyang pansin?

I laughed at myself inwardly. What would you even think, Adi? He'll wait for your calls every goddamn minute and every goddamn hour? Shame on you, Adira.

Just accept that you're not one of his priorities now.

Kung noon ay binubuhos niya sa'yo lahat ng sarili't atensiyon niya, pwes ngayon nabaling na sa iba. He doesn't care and love you anymore.

I sighed heavily and massaged the bridge of my nose stressfully.

Nang sa wakas ay nakarating na kami sa lugar kung saan ako nagpahatid, nagbayad na ako sa driver at bumaba na.

And the moment I stepped out of the cab, tiny drops from the rain fell on my bare skin. I smiled weakly as another sigh came out from me.

The golden bars of the elegant gate welcomed me as I can see the huge mansion behind it. The glaring lights around the mansion almost made my eyes shut. And in a blink, an umbrella was already keeping me from being soak by the heavy rain.

"Ma'am Adira?"

Liningon ko si Kuya Oscar, ang matagal ng guard ng mansion, bago tumango at tipid na ngumiti.

And as I stepped inside the mansion, I know my life will now continue running. But with a different path of life where I was forced to live in.

Having a new circle of friends and people to interact with, new people to live in and another chapter of journey to be unlocked in the future.

As the double doors of the elegant mansion swung open, a warm embrace from the two precious people I appreciated the most welcomed me.

"Senyor.. Senyora.." I whispered as my sobs reverberated inside the whole mansion. Akala ko'y nabuhos ko na lahat ng luha ko noong papunta pa lamang ako rito.

Pero hindi ko inakalang may mga hikbi pa pala akong mailalabas kasabay ng mga sama ng loob na naghari sa aking dibdib at sa aking puso.

I chose this path to be a new person and to have a new lifestyle.

But the question is, will I really have the chance to be a new person?

Or will I stay inside a room being jailed with my traumatic experience from our house?