Turtle Rock Review Shop

~~~#1- The Plan, @angiexvi

Good morrow, miss! Sorry, just trying to match the historical fiction tone of your book hahaha. Here's your review, and if you have any questions, comments, or concerns, please feel free to reach out to me through my personal account, HurricaneKareena, as I'm not on this account unless I'm working on reviews. So, without further ado, let's get started!

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User- @angiexvi

Book- The Plan

Genre- Historical Fiction

Link to the book --------------->

Cover- It really fits the theme of the story, but I can't help but feel that there's a lot going on. The text feels buried underneath the cover, as it's a similar color to the background picture. Maybe try a clearer color? Other than that, I like the layout! I thought the banner with your name on it was really creative. 

Title- The title is great! It encapsulates everything the reader needs to know. Great job, author!

Blurb- 

"Princess Anastasia was always seen as stubborn and bold. Constantly taken advantage of by her father and restricted under her overprotective brother, she decided she had enough. Though her plan on how she could solve her problems was deemed extremely unacceptable in society, and great dangers would appear if she did not succeed. 

  "But when the tension and stress of the demanding life as a monarch tolls upon her, she sees no other option than to carry out her plan. Will she succeed? Or will she fail?"

I have some tips for you on how to improve the blurb to draw in more readers. So, the beginning is literally perfect, as in, you've described the situation and the plot very well up until the third sentence of the first paragraph. 

I know what you're saying here, but I think the execution is a little off. The way the sentence is written right now makes the stakes seem very low, and it is also grammatically incorrect because of the 'and.' Because you use a conjunction at the beginning of the sentence, you do not need another one after the comma.  

You introduce the fact that there are dangers... but what are they? I know that the blurb of the book is always the hardest part for authors, including myself, and you're probably trying not to reveal too much about the plot. However, if readers don't have a sense of what exactly the stakes are, they aren't going to be interested in reading your story. 

For example, imagine if some fortune teller from a boardwalk in the sweltering heat of July came up to you and said, 'Your life is in great danger,' but they don't tell you what the danger is. What would you do? Would you be inclined to listen to them anymore?

Now, imagine if that same situation happened, but instead of giving you a vague answer on what the danger is, the fortune teller says that your father is in danger when he was mysteriously attacked in a hit-and-run a few days ago. Would you be more in favor of hearing the fortune teller out?

My bet is that you would be intrigued, if not a bit freaked out, and would want to go hear the fortune teller. This is exactly like your blurb. It's doing the job, but it's not hooking readers. Give a bit of bait on the fishing hook, and you'll get a good catch. 

Last thing—blurbs of books are usually written in third-person, present tense. This is a quick and easy fix when you are rewriting your blurb. Also, if you want me to look it over again, just PM me, and I'll be happy to!

Characters- Now, we're getting into the nitty-gritty of the text. Ani's character is easy for the reader to latch onto and become sympathetic with. She has her own strong views, and a reader can appreciate an author writing a character with her head on straight. 

The character relationships are what I want to focus on in this section. You do a very good job at establishing just the kind of person her father is during their interaction. I feel like the dialogue is pretty accurate to the time. 

Caspen's conversation with Ani outside was a little stiff, but I can't exactly pinpoint why. Maybe try reading it over and seeing what you think? 

Setting- Wow... you did a lot of research. The scots were hated at the time, so kudos to you! They were viewed as lesser people, and you recalled that with a single, off-handed comment from Ani. You describe the settings well enough for the reader to be able to envisage. You also stick to the time the story is set in through dialogue, mannerisms, and objects described. 

Plot- Woah... I was not expecting her to say the last line! That was a very great execution introducing the plot into the story. Like... damn! The chapter truly showed everything leading up to her decision!

Other comments- I've noticed that there are slight punctuation and grammatical errors throughout the chapter, but this is nothing much to stress about. Just go back, give it an edit, or hire an editor! There are some great editing shops on Wattpad that have done me a great service, like @TheCVCommunity and their Moondust editing shop. 

If you want more information on what exactly I found while reading through, give me a PM, and I'd love to discuss it with you!

Throughout the chapter, you switch from past to present POV. When talking about Anastasia's feelings, you jump from past, which the chapter is mostly written in, to present. Just be aware of this and try to avoid these errors in the future. 

Another thing I wanted to comment about—when I read the beginning bit about Anastasia's mother and father having an arranged marriage, I felt that it was a bit unfair to generalize arranged marriages. While writing the reason they hated each other as an arranged marriage is fine, you wrote, "Though, that is expected. He never loved my mother, as their marriage was arranged." This line gives the impression that all arranged marriages are bad, and no love could ever come from such a situation. 

Just... be careful writing things like that, because there are a lot of readers that aren't from the west. 

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I really hope this feedback helped you, and that you enjoyed the review. This book was a pretty fun read, and I look forward to seeing your name in the stars!

-HK