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*** #18- She Died, @ellastar36

Here is your review! 

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User- @ellastar36

Book- She died

Link to the book --------------->

Cover: The cover does seem like a horror/thriller sort of cover, so you fit the genre very well from what I can tell in the first chapter! However, some things, I think, can be changed! First of all, make the picture fit the full size of the cover, which is 512 x 800 px if you are using Canva to design. It just makes everything look more professional. Next, a more horror-like fnt would be better for this story's title. The little side notes (The town of secrets, mystery, etc.) are in a great font! The title, if you're using Canva, that is, might be better in something like Chapbook or Charu Chandan Blood Drip would be more suitable. Also, make sure the title is centered! It just adds a more finished look to the preliminary part of your cover! 

Title: The story, I know is a mystery/thriller, as you described it in your form. The title 'She Died' is a perfect name for such a genre, so kudos there! Do you think it might fit your story? She died is definitely the preliminary part of it, but I think you could expand upon it. It's a story about revenge, anger, determination, and mystery. She Died seems like a horror, but something about revenge may suit your story better! These are just suggestions, obviously! Don't take any to heart! 

 Blurb: I think that your blurb is the perfect length, nothing too long or short. You gave a wonderful (rather, a chilling) backstory, and a great introduction and initial taste of your book! Some things I have to point out are that the asterisks aren't as professional as they may seem! You may want to opt for a '---' sort of divider, a minimal one. Another thing about the last line 'real dark secrets', that isn't exactly right grammatically. I suggest, instead of the hyphen, divide those phrases into two different sentences. That would change the layout well.

Characters: About the characters, so far, the main character is May. May seems determined, and she is also a vengeful sort of person. But for someone who has lost her sister, she says 'Ugh' a lot. She seems annoyed, and I think that while you might have meant to make her angered or vengeful, she comes across as brattish and frustrated more than anything. I think that you did very well with First Person POV and character descriptions, however, some further work does need to be done when you consider how to characterize and emotionally describe each character. 

 Setting: There wasn't much about the setting, but I think that you could have added some in for sure! While it definitely isn't necessary, and you did edit your story and cut off any unnecessary "fat" off well, what one does appreciate is a little more description with the setting. I think it would be very interesting to read from the character's POV/ 

Plot: your plot is very interesting! A murder ystery/thriller, it keep sme on my feet! You introduce a conflict, a mystery, emotions, and many other things just in the very first chapter. I think that the first person Point of View really helped with this factor. There is nothing about the plot pace I can add. However, some descriptions always help to advance the story! Other Stuff: Occasionally, there were some mistakes with the grammar. Some capitalization, sometimes spelling errors. However, I think that this story has a lot of potential! Continue on with it!