Good afternoon! Here's your review, and if you have any questions, comments, or concerns, please feel free to reach out to me through my personal account, as I'm not on this account unless I'm working on reviews. So, without further ado, let's get started!
____________
User- @Ivashkov20
Book- All You Need is Hope
Genre- Short Story
Link to the book --------------->
Cover- The cover of this book reminds me a lot of Life of Pi! I love the cover, but I think the font is a bit too compressed. Try making the line spacing longer? There's just too much going on with the center of the book.
Title- I think your title is pretty great! Good job, author!
Blurb- I don't think you're going to be happy when I say this, but it needs to be said. The description of the book is, essentially, the logline. It doesn't tell us the characters, plot, or anything about the story other than the fact that there are two people.
A blurb should entice readers to pick up the book without revealing too much of the plot, but here, you give me no meat to work with. It's just dry bones and dust. I encourage you to write a blurb to attract more readers. I'm going to link a page with tips on how to write one.
https://www.wattpad.com/1047270049-wattys-2021-bootcamp-mentorship-program-workshop-2
Characters- When I first started reading, I was confused about the text between Anay/Ajay. Their names are so similar, and an average reader would be confused when reading.
Anay was a great character to start reading about, but when I got to the part with the waiter, it kind of turned me off of him. Waiters have a hard time as it is, and if someone does something like that on purpose, it's just kind of cruel, you know?
I don't think Anay's a bad person, I just think his actions are... questionable.
Based on the first chapter, I didn't really get a feel for any of the other characters and their personalities, so I don't think I'm qualified to comment on them.
Setting- Okay, not even gonna lie, you're gold with creating the setting. I enjoyed the imagery used at the beginning of the story describing how Anay feels because of the weather.
Plot- I see a clear plot developing based on the logline and the first chapter. The woman from the cafe/bar and Anay are going to fall in love. This is good! It's almost like foreshadowing for the reader.
Other comments- I would advise going through and giving your story a good edit. There were some places I spotted that need commas, and others where you simply skipped a word.
There are also places that skip to present tense? Overall, you write in past tense, but I see some areas where you slip up and enter present tense.
One thing I wanted to ask: How does Anay know that the man never loved the woman a few tables over? Describe how he was able to infer this information. Was it by the inflection of his voice? Was it by his fidgeting hands?
____________
Thank you for requesting a review from the shop! I hope I wasn't too harsh with the things I said. If you have any further questions, please message me at my personal account, @HurricaneKareena.
-HK
YOU ARE READING
Turtle Rock Review Shop
Non-FictionA safe place for you to get an honest, accurate review of the first chapter of your book.
